I wanted to let you know that my posts may be irregular for the next week or so. My husband and I are taking a little holiday up north. It was a trip I planned some time ago when the airlines were running sales, and a 'fire sale' at the resort enabled us to rent the 'penthouse' with a gorgeous view over the town and out to sea. The best part is that it has a spa on the roof, and rain, hail or shine, I am likely to be found up there. It is a little holiday that ties in with our wedding anniversary. We've been married many, many years; many more than is fasionable these days. Yet, the love goes on. It is eternal. We have our ups and downs but we always return to the love we have for one another.
Before I get on with the business of preparing for our departure, I want to share a thought with you. I've done quite a lot of talking in the past couple of months; to dominant men and to a submissive woman. One thing that seems clear is that we all have our individual spin on what constitutes dominance and what constitutes submission. No-one is wrong and no-one is right and I squirm a little when I read anything that goes even close to suggesting that there is one right way to do any of this. In the end, we are in relationships and if it works for the two people involved; if they are happy together and happy in themselves, then it is right for them.
In my conversations and reading and writing, I've been exploring what is right for me and right for my husband. We know that what works for us is that I bunker down, nice and cosy, in my submissive place whilst he does what comes so naturally to him, and dominates his landscape, including me. We've tried variations on this theme, and what we now can say with authority is that I do best with some daily 'maintenance'. That is not right or wrong. It is right for me. It keeps me calm and centred and feeling loved and allows me to feel my submission. For another girl, it is unnecesary or even wrong. Something else is right for her. I need my dom to be involved in my life, day by day. That connection allows me to then go on and be productive in my own life while he is inundated with his own activities. In this way, I carry my submission with me through my day; happy and feeling loved.
I encourage anyone out there who is struggling right now with their submission to find out what works for you and stick with it. Don't worry what others may think; just do it and be happy. We are, perhaps, a little more unusual than the average bear, but we are lovely people and we deserve to shine bright.
I hope to write again from paradise, but it all depends if I can get out of that spa. You know I will be thinking of you, nonetheless.
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bon voyage, amour gagnera dehors à la fin
ReplyDelete(love wins in the end)
Toujours!
ReplyDeleteEt, merci, mon ami.
Oh, are comments in a foreign tongue today? I can play that game!
ReplyDeleteBuon viaggio; sono gelosa da matti e spero che vada tutto bene. Ci vediamo presto!
Ok...now on to my commment: I agree that there's no right or wrong way of doing things as long as it's working for the couple. Where I start to worry (and, I admit, judge) is when things are very obviously NOT working for the couple. That's when my maternal instinct kicks in and I want to say "For goodness' sake! Try it THIS way!" Unfortunately, very, very few people are actually open to any sort of advice. Sigh. But again, if it 'aint't broke, don't fix it.
Constance:
ReplyDeleteI have no idea what that means! Enlighten me! I will take a guess. Have a good vacation and hurry back soon!?
Yes, I have had times like that, and I do seek and receive lots of advice. To receive that advice, I have had to confront hard truths, usually about myself. In my case, the solution lies in coming down from my tree and talking to my husband who explains things as he sees it. We talk. I explain what I am missing. He tells me what he doesn't like about my behaviour. We make love and start all over again. Advice is not necessarily right. But, it pays to listen and really think about it. Then, one's intuition should be one's guide. e.g. I know a spanking a day keeps the blues away. Yet, I forget this. When advice from a few special friends all lines up, you know it is time to confront one's reality. We all need friends to listen and to give their two cents worth. It is lovely to be cared for in this way, and ultimately, it should return a girl to her rightful place; on the bottom! LOL
Constance said have a good trip, she is jealous hopes everything is fine/well and will see you soon.
ReplyDeleteAh! That's lovely.
ReplyDeleteA little story about jealousy which might help.
I was coming out of the local supermarket, with a few little children by my side; some years ago. Several teenage boys were circling a stunning and very new red sports car. It was gorgeous, to say the least and they were really oggling it. Along came a woman, about my age now and said,
"Back off boys! You don't get one of these until you have driven a Volvo station wagon for 20 years."
Don't be jealous, now! Your turn will come.