Don't let me find a spelling mistake!

Since I wrote my ‘goodbye letter’ to Janus, only to regret my actions days later, I’ve been in something of a “process”. It seems that I had to learn what it felt like to live my life as a submissive woman without dominance. No one was too impressed at my ‘here today, gone tomorrow’ flip flop of attitude, and of one thing I needed to be sure: it was not going to be tolerated.

I have the message. I have the message, loud and clear.

Part of the re-educating ‘process’ was for me to write out the ‘new agreement’, as you know. As you also know, another part of the ‘process’ was for me to consider what constituted a “severe punishment” such that I would think at least twice before I ever tried this stunt again. You also know (God, am I boring you?) that I tried to come up with suitable punishments.

In our chat over the weekend, Janus revisited this topic and he said that he didn’t feel that a whipping was really going to change my behaviour. His thinking here was that a girl tends to forget about her whippings pretty soon, and in any case, she also tends to think, ‘Well, I’ve paid my dues now. I can go off and do it again some other time.’

He may be right here. The thought has crossed my mind, and a submissive woman doesn’t really walk around in fear of a whipping, let’s face it!

So, we discussed it some more and without him giving too much away, I got the impression that Janus was looking for me to write up the process that I had been through – what had led to the behaviour, what had I learned, and what was a suitable plan for discipline for the future.

I wrote up my statement last night and sent it on to my husband. One of my readers, a real sweetie, looked it over for me first, and gave me the thumbs up. Thank you, again, my dear. That was a confidence booster.

I doubt it will end there. My husband will probably want to discuss it, and unlike Janus, I think he thinks that a few (many?) cuts of the cane across my bottom might be a good ‘insurance policy’.

I am hoping that this puts an end to the matter and that from there he will send a message to Janus that I am ‘good to go’ with the new agreement.

Then, I get to do some writing with Janus! Oh, goody! I get to be told off when I don’t do it in a timely fashion. Or, when it is not good enough, I get to do it again and resubmit it. If I make a spelling error or a grammatical error, I suspect I get to write lines.

Hold on!

I want this?

But, that makes me a masochist, right?

Jeez! I never knew.