We spent some quality time with our daughter and her new (and much adored) boyfriend recently and I am delighted to write that my husband found the young man as agreeable as I had found him some months ago when I visited her in April. He is bright, well-spoken, considerate and most importantly, he adores our daughter. More than that, my husband found him grounded, practical; more than capable of running a business or forging a career.
My daughter and I shared some time alone after that whilst we purchased a winter jacket for her and walked home through Hyde Park on an unexpectedly balmy night last night and she shared her boyfriend's impression of us. Ahhhhhh! Of course! It was not just us analyzing him but he analyzing us!
I thought to share two of those impressions here on the journal:
1) My husband and I are rather competitive.
Now, this came as a shock at first. I can't stand it when couple compete with one another and I said that this surely was not right. But, as she laid out her case, it was clear that we do compete on a certain level. If I finish my meal before him (because he has been doing all the talking and I have been the one listening and eating) he will say, "You got through that fast". I hate hearing that. Any girl would hate hearing that and so I make a deliberate effort to eat slowly almost all the time until the next time he catches me out and repeats the phrase again.
We were walking along High Street in Kensington when he said to me, "I really loved the Portrait Gallery. I don't think you realize just how much I love history." I replied, "Darling, I have been with you for 35 years. You think I don't know that? I studied History as a Major and you know much more than I do." He looked at me, startled that I should say such a thing and then said, "Can I have that in writing?"
That is two of hundreds of examples. Shockingly, it seems we do compete.
2) I respond to my husband like a little girl:
It seems that I make quite a few naughty comments; comments I know I shouldn't and to protect myself or if I am scolded for them, I react by looking like a naughty, little girl.
That can't be right!? Or is the young man right about that as well?
What a hoot it must have been to be a fly on the wall - he analyzing us and we analyzing him. I am not at sure he is actually too observant.
Showing posts with label submissive qualities. Show all posts
Showing posts with label submissive qualities. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Charm
I am going to be travelling for a while but since I anticipate Internet access most places I go, I hope to continue to write in this journal over that time. As any traveller knows, the time leading up to travel is hectic and this was particularly the case this time as I waved my youngest son off on a longish school trip at the airport last night. I have not only been thinking about what I had to do before we all left home but also what has to be organized for when I return. You know the drill, I am sure.
Recently, I met Anna. We worked on a raffle together and I found her to be one of the most charming women I have ever met. A seriously bright woman, her parents were escapees from Poland. Everything about her was adorable - her conversation was incredibly interesting, her adoration and love of her two boys palpable, her commitment to do the raffle just right admirable and her simple but elegant style very appealing.
She is going through a tough spot right now experiencing menopausal sweats that had made it necessary for her husband to bring into the bedroom a separate bed that has been placed beside the "marital bed". I found her embarrassment and yet her honestly about the matter endearing. In every conceivable way, she was completely appealing and anyone at all would be hard pressed not to find her an attractive human being.
After our event I suggested we meet again at the lunch in late October and she thought that was a marvellous idea, but like so many marvellous ideas expressed in the moment, I doubt she thought I would do anything about that. So, a few days ago I rushed off an email to her and said how much I would love to sit next to her and that I was going away but I could I leave it in her hands? She just wrote back to say, in the most charming of ways that it was delightful to hear from me and that she was organizing a table and we would indeed sit together; that I should have the most marvelous vacation; to leave it to her.
Anna had me thinking...Can you equate charm with submissive qualities? I suspect I am drawing a long bow here. Yet, if a submissive woman is a desirable and enticing commodity (and dominant types do seem to think so) then can charm be taught/encouraged/insisted upon? Or, is Anna's type of charm, the essence of a beautiful and graceful woman, simply granted at birth? All I know for sure is that when I am in the presence of a charming person, man or woman, they light up the room. As I go about my travels, I shall keep my eyes open for more of them.
Recently, I met Anna. We worked on a raffle together and I found her to be one of the most charming women I have ever met. A seriously bright woman, her parents were escapees from Poland. Everything about her was adorable - her conversation was incredibly interesting, her adoration and love of her two boys palpable, her commitment to do the raffle just right admirable and her simple but elegant style very appealing.
She is going through a tough spot right now experiencing menopausal sweats that had made it necessary for her husband to bring into the bedroom a separate bed that has been placed beside the "marital bed". I found her embarrassment and yet her honestly about the matter endearing. In every conceivable way, she was completely appealing and anyone at all would be hard pressed not to find her an attractive human being.
After our event I suggested we meet again at the lunch in late October and she thought that was a marvellous idea, but like so many marvellous ideas expressed in the moment, I doubt she thought I would do anything about that. So, a few days ago I rushed off an email to her and said how much I would love to sit next to her and that I was going away but I could I leave it in her hands? She just wrote back to say, in the most charming of ways that it was delightful to hear from me and that she was organizing a table and we would indeed sit together; that I should have the most marvelous vacation; to leave it to her.
Anna had me thinking...Can you equate charm with submissive qualities? I suspect I am drawing a long bow here. Yet, if a submissive woman is a desirable and enticing commodity (and dominant types do seem to think so) then can charm be taught/encouraged/insisted upon? Or, is Anna's type of charm, the essence of a beautiful and graceful woman, simply granted at birth? All I know for sure is that when I am in the presence of a charming person, man or woman, they light up the room. As I go about my travels, I shall keep my eyes open for more of them.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Control
It was wonderful to talk with O (O = owner) on the phone last night and feel the energy in his voice. Those nasty types really have played a very dirty hand but he and others have come out of their shock, of their sense that they are doomed and begun to fight back. I know that I am not meant to have a voice in the business but on this one, I think a lot of my anxiety stemmed from believing so strongly that they should ignore the threats and fight back. They were all throwing away years of very hard work and dedication and I just couldn't see that as being the right response. On the phone last night, I felt able to support his efforts to right the wrong as best he could. It may not be perfect, but it can't be as bad as letting those men walk all over them with their underhand, bully boy tactics!
One of the facts about life that I have found so hard to accept is that we are not all brought up with the same moral code. We don't all know wrong from right. For some people the code is, 'the end justifies the means'. As a submissive, it can be hard to know what the right response is. How lovely it would be to remain in a submissive bubble! But, one does have to be on the alert for people with a different code and that means that submission is something that we can't always live.
It is my nature to be polite to people and to try to get what I need or want from people by being co-operative and considerate and so on. Sometimes, those behaviours are seen as weakness. People with their own interpretation of a 'moral code' can take advantage of what appears to be a 'submissive' type. For this reason, I think it important that a submissive person (a slave or bottom or what have you) continue to sharpen her assertiveness and her ability to demonstrate conviction of her cause. A good Dominant is likely to encourage that, I think, because it is so very difficult to live in this world without those skills. O tends to think of himself as my protector because I can't handle the cruel side of the world and that is partly true but as well, I am a survivor and I do want to succeed rather than fail.
As well, I think feeling that one is capable in the world to stand on one's own two feet and to defend one is part of what makes a strong individual and keeps depression away. Depression is often founded on feeling hopeless and a sense of feeling hopeless comes from feeling that there is nothing one can do to make things better. Being no more than an observer is very stressful to me when I feel that I have something meaningful and worthwhile to contribute.
I have tried not talking to O at all about business matters but whilst I can happily remain in a bubble for so long, reality waits for me. I think we have to keep the communication channels open, for me to remain respectful but able to give my point of view. This has risks and must be delicately handled but if we don't do this, O is at risk of being isolated in his thoughts. I continue to believe that a third party; someone who cares about him and is watching his back, should be able to speak. No one in this world cares about him more than I do. I do not want control but without a voice, I feel nothing but despair when things are going wrong and I feel denied the opportunity to help.
The saying goes that 'two heads are better than one' and in our case, so long as the second head remains respectful and handles matters delicately, I think that is the best policy. It feels incredibly hopeful and very, very right that whilst our roles remain and he will ultimately make the final decisions on our behalf, we live out those roles united as to an approach. I think it is a relief to him to have an open exchange of ideas and that whilst he enjoyed that I was happy in my submissive bubble removed from worry, he may have felt somewhat estranged. The power exchange is right for us but the extreme delineation of roles was very stressful and unsustainable.
One of the facts about life that I have found so hard to accept is that we are not all brought up with the same moral code. We don't all know wrong from right. For some people the code is, 'the end justifies the means'. As a submissive, it can be hard to know what the right response is. How lovely it would be to remain in a submissive bubble! But, one does have to be on the alert for people with a different code and that means that submission is something that we can't always live.
It is my nature to be polite to people and to try to get what I need or want from people by being co-operative and considerate and so on. Sometimes, those behaviours are seen as weakness. People with their own interpretation of a 'moral code' can take advantage of what appears to be a 'submissive' type. For this reason, I think it important that a submissive person (a slave or bottom or what have you) continue to sharpen her assertiveness and her ability to demonstrate conviction of her cause. A good Dominant is likely to encourage that, I think, because it is so very difficult to live in this world without those skills. O tends to think of himself as my protector because I can't handle the cruel side of the world and that is partly true but as well, I am a survivor and I do want to succeed rather than fail.
As well, I think feeling that one is capable in the world to stand on one's own two feet and to defend one is part of what makes a strong individual and keeps depression away. Depression is often founded on feeling hopeless and a sense of feeling hopeless comes from feeling that there is nothing one can do to make things better. Being no more than an observer is very stressful to me when I feel that I have something meaningful and worthwhile to contribute.
I have tried not talking to O at all about business matters but whilst I can happily remain in a bubble for so long, reality waits for me. I think we have to keep the communication channels open, for me to remain respectful but able to give my point of view. This has risks and must be delicately handled but if we don't do this, O is at risk of being isolated in his thoughts. I continue to believe that a third party; someone who cares about him and is watching his back, should be able to speak. No one in this world cares about him more than I do. I do not want control but without a voice, I feel nothing but despair when things are going wrong and I feel denied the opportunity to help.
The saying goes that 'two heads are better than one' and in our case, so long as the second head remains respectful and handles matters delicately, I think that is the best policy. It feels incredibly hopeful and very, very right that whilst our roles remain and he will ultimately make the final decisions on our behalf, we live out those roles united as to an approach. I think it is a relief to him to have an open exchange of ideas and that whilst he enjoyed that I was happy in my submissive bubble removed from worry, he may have felt somewhat estranged. The power exchange is right for us but the extreme delineation of roles was very stressful and unsustainable.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
The sun and the moon
When I first began exploring my submissive nature, I remember being shocked that someone would refer to me as “bad”; as in “you’ve been a bad girl!” I didn’t think of myself as a bad person and I was rather alarmed that anybody would think that of me. After all, I obeyed the law, put my families’ needs ahead of my own, and was kind to strangers and animals; all those sorts of things. If I was “bad” then heaven help us all!
Bit by bit, I came to understand that it was not about whether I was a good or bad person but whether or not I was developing an understanding of how a power exchange dynamic could work for me. If I wanted a successful power exchange I needed to conform.
My husband, like lots of other husbands out there is happy to lead; wants to lead. He takes responsibility on his shoulders and he knows what he wants. But for many years I didn’t really understand myself well enough, or even know that it was possible for me to say that I wanted to feel control over me.
I honestly believed, as many girls do, that I needed to be strong and independent and want to take charge and be in control and strive to achieve and all those sorts of things. I felt that I had to fight against my nature to want to be protected and to feel the strength of a man and his direction in my life. I thought that I was deeply deficient that I remained on some level, “just a little girl”.
Although I thought that my husband would not understand me if I told him who I really was and what would make me happy, I have come to see that a power exchange relationship is very close to a perfect fit for the two of us as a couple.
We have been married almost 30 years but we are still in the process of getting it just right. Finally, after years and years of coming to me with the minutiae of a deal and being upset with me that it unsettles me to hear of things over which I have no control, he is taking much more of his own counsel. He knows that if he needs to talk, I will of course listen, but it does not work to give me excess worry. I need to feel that he is in control of himself and the plans that he makes on our behalf.
On this score, the past year has been an adjustment period for us as he took to heart that this constant discussion over his business affairs was affecting me. But, I am delighted to say that he now sees the merit in having a more relaxed girl. I don’t say that this works for all D/s couples by any stretch but it does work for us. I was not the only member of this marriage that needed to make adjustments if we were to be completely happy.
I have read a number of comments lately that sex is not all there is to a power exchange relationship. Naturally, I agree, but it is a vital component and it is when I feel that dominance in my life, to the core of my being that I shine most bright. If a woman is submissive by nature, she needs to feel that sense of dominance over her in a very concrete way as well as on a more day to day level. And, the dominant needs to feel her sense of completeness as much as she does, I think. My husband will say after very satisfying love making, “It is so lovely to live with a happy girl. Just look at you!” Well, he looks rather happy, too!
I read just now a comment by a submissive. She wrote: I'm not so sure submissive power can be sustained just through service. I think there needs to be a dominant force from which the submissive draws enough energy that can be reflected - much as the moon reflects the light of the sun.
I think that is a beautifully expressed sentiment. A “dominant force” cannot just be a man (in this case) who wants his own way. It needs to be a man who understands that his girl has a submissive nature, needs to express that nature and is happy that she is as she is.
This is why I waited so long to express myself as I really am. I just didn’t believe that I would be acceptable. It has taken a lot of mentoring for me to finally get it through my dumdum head that it is more than all right for me to have a submissive nature. I am valued, loved and desired for that submissive nature.
It is beyond question that I draw energy from the dominant force in my life; an energy that is reflected back. The more I embrace my submissive nature, the more powerful (and settled) I feel; much as the moon reflects the light of the sun.
Bit by bit, I came to understand that it was not about whether I was a good or bad person but whether or not I was developing an understanding of how a power exchange dynamic could work for me. If I wanted a successful power exchange I needed to conform.
My husband, like lots of other husbands out there is happy to lead; wants to lead. He takes responsibility on his shoulders and he knows what he wants. But for many years I didn’t really understand myself well enough, or even know that it was possible for me to say that I wanted to feel control over me.
I honestly believed, as many girls do, that I needed to be strong and independent and want to take charge and be in control and strive to achieve and all those sorts of things. I felt that I had to fight against my nature to want to be protected and to feel the strength of a man and his direction in my life. I thought that I was deeply deficient that I remained on some level, “just a little girl”.
Although I thought that my husband would not understand me if I told him who I really was and what would make me happy, I have come to see that a power exchange relationship is very close to a perfect fit for the two of us as a couple.
We have been married almost 30 years but we are still in the process of getting it just right. Finally, after years and years of coming to me with the minutiae of a deal and being upset with me that it unsettles me to hear of things over which I have no control, he is taking much more of his own counsel. He knows that if he needs to talk, I will of course listen, but it does not work to give me excess worry. I need to feel that he is in control of himself and the plans that he makes on our behalf.
On this score, the past year has been an adjustment period for us as he took to heart that this constant discussion over his business affairs was affecting me. But, I am delighted to say that he now sees the merit in having a more relaxed girl. I don’t say that this works for all D/s couples by any stretch but it does work for us. I was not the only member of this marriage that needed to make adjustments if we were to be completely happy.
I have read a number of comments lately that sex is not all there is to a power exchange relationship. Naturally, I agree, but it is a vital component and it is when I feel that dominance in my life, to the core of my being that I shine most bright. If a woman is submissive by nature, she needs to feel that sense of dominance over her in a very concrete way as well as on a more day to day level. And, the dominant needs to feel her sense of completeness as much as she does, I think. My husband will say after very satisfying love making, “It is so lovely to live with a happy girl. Just look at you!” Well, he looks rather happy, too!
I read just now a comment by a submissive. She wrote: I'm not so sure submissive power can be sustained just through service. I think there needs to be a dominant force from which the submissive draws enough energy that can be reflected - much as the moon reflects the light of the sun.
I think that is a beautifully expressed sentiment. A “dominant force” cannot just be a man (in this case) who wants his own way. It needs to be a man who understands that his girl has a submissive nature, needs to express that nature and is happy that she is as she is.
This is why I waited so long to express myself as I really am. I just didn’t believe that I would be acceptable. It has taken a lot of mentoring for me to finally get it through my dumdum head that it is more than all right for me to have a submissive nature. I am valued, loved and desired for that submissive nature.
It is beyond question that I draw energy from the dominant force in my life; an energy that is reflected back. The more I embrace my submissive nature, the more powerful (and settled) I feel; much as the moon reflects the light of the sun.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Responsibility
I came across some very self-informed statements on a web journal this morning and I was impressed at the ability the woman had to see herself very clearly; what affected her and what she needed. We have a tendency, I think, to hide from ourselves those things about us that we don't particularly like and I know I tend to do that. I'd like to think that I can handle responsibility and solve problems and so on, and I do my best, but I'm not a natural leader; never have been and never will be.
I've mentioned my childhood before and that I was a natural student. Yes, I enjoyed learning and reading but I just hated taking tests and I suffered more than my fair share of anxiety over tests. Possibly, I am a victim of my own high standards and wanting to achieve.
I don't think that it should be a surprise that a submissive is prone to anxiety if put into an environment very unsuited to her nature and on this score I totally understood when I was not made a Prefect in my senior year. It mattered very little to me but my close friends could not understand my ambivalence. I'd been a good student, obeyed the rules, never did anything wrong and I was not getting my just rewards, they said. But, here's the thing! I didn't really want to be a prefect. I didn't want to tell the other girls to pull up their socks; to put their hats on; to stop talking in assembly. Why would I want to do that?
I like my life ordered; my house under control; things sorted and for there to be a place for everything. I don't have any desire or need to boss anyone around and I certainly don't yearn for more responsibility. Sometimes, the children or my husband tell me of an issue and immediately my mind becomes anxious as I search for the solution to their problem.
"Stop it!" my husband will say. "It is not your problem. You don't need to solve anything."
And, immediately I begin to settle myself. My response all my life has been to feel that I must act responsibly and be a big girl and appear such that responsibility is second nature to me. But, it is not in my nature to take on more responsibility than I need to. I know that now.
Five years ago, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. I travelled to the place where she lives and accompanied her to a consultation where the surgeon told her he wanted to amputate her breast. We signed the papers in shock and when we got home my husband questioned the decision. I sat with it that night and the next day called a cancer specialist friend who put me onto a different surgeon here in the city. The dear woman called me immediately my friend called her that Sunday morning and we arranged for my mother to be seen the next day. With the immediate problem solved and the initial surgery cancelled, I felt the weight start to come off my shoulders and I immediately went to sleep for several hours. The responsibility of saving my mother's life from an incompetent surgeon (he diagnosed her without even a mammogram) had left me completely exhausted. I will rise to the occasion of taking on responsibility but not without huge personal cost. (She had a lumpectomy and is totally cured.)
It has taken me decades to take off my 'girl mask'; that facade of mine where I pretended that I was a totally capable girl who handled responsibility with ease. It is an enormous relief to have a dominant in my life. It fulfils me. It completes me. Finally, I feel at ease.
I've mentioned my childhood before and that I was a natural student. Yes, I enjoyed learning and reading but I just hated taking tests and I suffered more than my fair share of anxiety over tests. Possibly, I am a victim of my own high standards and wanting to achieve.
I don't think that it should be a surprise that a submissive is prone to anxiety if put into an environment very unsuited to her nature and on this score I totally understood when I was not made a Prefect in my senior year. It mattered very little to me but my close friends could not understand my ambivalence. I'd been a good student, obeyed the rules, never did anything wrong and I was not getting my just rewards, they said. But, here's the thing! I didn't really want to be a prefect. I didn't want to tell the other girls to pull up their socks; to put their hats on; to stop talking in assembly. Why would I want to do that?
I like my life ordered; my house under control; things sorted and for there to be a place for everything. I don't have any desire or need to boss anyone around and I certainly don't yearn for more responsibility. Sometimes, the children or my husband tell me of an issue and immediately my mind becomes anxious as I search for the solution to their problem.
"Stop it!" my husband will say. "It is not your problem. You don't need to solve anything."
And, immediately I begin to settle myself. My response all my life has been to feel that I must act responsibly and be a big girl and appear such that responsibility is second nature to me. But, it is not in my nature to take on more responsibility than I need to. I know that now.
Five years ago, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. I travelled to the place where she lives and accompanied her to a consultation where the surgeon told her he wanted to amputate her breast. We signed the papers in shock and when we got home my husband questioned the decision. I sat with it that night and the next day called a cancer specialist friend who put me onto a different surgeon here in the city. The dear woman called me immediately my friend called her that Sunday morning and we arranged for my mother to be seen the next day. With the immediate problem solved and the initial surgery cancelled, I felt the weight start to come off my shoulders and I immediately went to sleep for several hours. The responsibility of saving my mother's life from an incompetent surgeon (he diagnosed her without even a mammogram) had left me completely exhausted. I will rise to the occasion of taking on responsibility but not without huge personal cost. (She had a lumpectomy and is totally cured.)
It has taken me decades to take off my 'girl mask'; that facade of mine where I pretended that I was a totally capable girl who handled responsibility with ease. It is an enormous relief to have a dominant in my life. It fulfils me. It completes me. Finally, I feel at ease.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Class act
We can never be certain how we come to have our frailties - those aspects of us over which we have no control. We can only know that we have them and do our best to not let them get in the way of a good life, for us and those we love.
I am a person with an abundance of loyalty to those I love and care for and I am willing to demonstrate that eternally. But, I also have some frailties and I am more than aware of them. In spite of my best efforts to embrace 'the doll', deep inside of me is still 'the ego'; that place that people walk over at their peril because my instincts are to preserve it, no matter what.
I have no way of knowing if 'the submissive' generally feels the same way about this as I do, but in spite of my strongest instincts to be 'the bottom' of the relationship, I am never not myself. The dominant may dress down the doll and that's part of the deal, but respect is still a top priority. Respect must go both ways, no matter what.
The submissive accepts her status at the bottom, but respect for her ability to accept that place willingly and consistently must emanate from her Dominant in order for her to maintain her dignity. She may grovel but she chooses to do so with grace. She is a class act and deserves a respectful audience at all times.
I am a person with an abundance of loyalty to those I love and care for and I am willing to demonstrate that eternally. But, I also have some frailties and I am more than aware of them. In spite of my best efforts to embrace 'the doll', deep inside of me is still 'the ego'; that place that people walk over at their peril because my instincts are to preserve it, no matter what.
I have no way of knowing if 'the submissive' generally feels the same way about this as I do, but in spite of my strongest instincts to be 'the bottom' of the relationship, I am never not myself. The dominant may dress down the doll and that's part of the deal, but respect is still a top priority. Respect must go both ways, no matter what.
The submissive accepts her status at the bottom, but respect for her ability to accept that place willingly and consistently must emanate from her Dominant in order for her to maintain her dignity. She may grovel but she chooses to do so with grace. She is a class act and deserves a respectful audience at all times.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Strategy
Girls, huddle round; make a circle, hold hands.
Shhhhh! Quiet now; I don't want to be overheard.
You know, and I know that he is not always right. And, you know and I know that he can be soooo irrational.
Yeah. Yeah. We all know dat.
But, trust me, it is no use makin a fuss. Coz he's not goin to admit anythin anyways wen he's in dat moooood.
So, don't get all steamed up. Nah! Just 'snuff it off'. Forget abowt it.
And, go ahead and have a good day.
Okay?
All right! High fives.
Yes!!!!
Shhhhh! Quiet now; I don't want to be overheard.
You know, and I know that he is not always right. And, you know and I know that he can be soooo irrational.
Yeah. Yeah. We all know dat.
But, trust me, it is no use makin a fuss. Coz he's not goin to admit anythin anyways wen he's in dat moooood.
So, don't get all steamed up. Nah! Just 'snuff it off'. Forget abowt it.
And, go ahead and have a good day.
Okay?
All right! High fives.
Yes!!!!
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Beauty
It is indeed true that my kinky nature is taking over more and more of my life. It extends well beyond the bedroom, and thankfully, I seem to have reached a golden moment in time, when I no longer feel the resistance I have felt in the not so distance past. I feel more...settled.
This morning my husband and I went to the market...a largely open air market where you can buy meat, fish, vegetables and fruits; all sorts of food like nuts and beans and cheeses and so on. We always stop for a coffee during this shopping morning, and on our way to the cafe he turned to me and said,
“I like having a good girl.”
I smiled and said,
“Is that what you want? You want to be my Daddy and I’ll be your good girl?”
He giggled a bit and then said,
“Well, it is very nice having a good girl. I like it.”
I like it, too (so long as good girls get to play!?).
It is an indication of my state of mind though that not only was I trying to be his “good girl” at the market. I was using the market experience, our weekly ritual, to gather together lots of healthy ingredients to make lots of healthy recipes. This morning, I had got down my ‘Beans and Rice’ recipe book and selected some lovely soups and salads to make up. I made up a list of all the beans I needed: navy beans, cannellini beans, black-eye peas, black beans and adzuki beans. I loved gathering them and seeing all the bags of different coloured beans, and I will love making them up into healthy and low fat recipes, too.
You see, I have taken to heart what I have learned about submissive girls. Submissive girls are not just striving to be obedient, truthful and open in their dealings with their dominant. They are striving to be the best they can be in all their endeavours in life. That includes how they look after their body, inside and out, their choices of dress, the way they speak...everything.
A submissive girl has committed to be the very best she can be, not just for her dominant but for everybody who is in her orbit. She aims to shine. Her efforts to be her most beautiful in all ways is her gift, and that of her dominant, to the world in which they live. It’s a lofty notion but one to which I aspire.
This morning my husband and I went to the market...a largely open air market where you can buy meat, fish, vegetables and fruits; all sorts of food like nuts and beans and cheeses and so on. We always stop for a coffee during this shopping morning, and on our way to the cafe he turned to me and said,
“I like having a good girl.”
I smiled and said,
“Is that what you want? You want to be my Daddy and I’ll be your good girl?”
He giggled a bit and then said,
“Well, it is very nice having a good girl. I like it.”
I like it, too (so long as good girls get to play!?).
It is an indication of my state of mind though that not only was I trying to be his “good girl” at the market. I was using the market experience, our weekly ritual, to gather together lots of healthy ingredients to make lots of healthy recipes. This morning, I had got down my ‘Beans and Rice’ recipe book and selected some lovely soups and salads to make up. I made up a list of all the beans I needed: navy beans, cannellini beans, black-eye peas, black beans and adzuki beans. I loved gathering them and seeing all the bags of different coloured beans, and I will love making them up into healthy and low fat recipes, too.
You see, I have taken to heart what I have learned about submissive girls. Submissive girls are not just striving to be obedient, truthful and open in their dealings with their dominant. They are striving to be the best they can be in all their endeavours in life. That includes how they look after their body, inside and out, their choices of dress, the way they speak...everything.
A submissive girl has committed to be the very best she can be, not just for her dominant but for everybody who is in her orbit. She aims to shine. Her efforts to be her most beautiful in all ways is her gift, and that of her dominant, to the world in which they live. It’s a lofty notion but one to which I aspire.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Dignity and grace
I was greatly touched by two lovely comments left for me in my last post. It prompted me just now to look up the definitions of two words they had used – grace and dignity. Interestingly, neither word is particularly easy to define, with there being some indecision as to a perfect definition. Nevertheless, broadly speaking, ‘grace’ is defined as being to grant forgiveness, or good will, loving, kindness and/or favour. ‘Dignity’ is defined as the quality of being worthy of esteem or respect.
Well, I must say that I am humbled to have my thoughts as those defined as being with dignity and grace. I am going to try to live up to that lovely sentiment.
Whilst I have many faults, I know in my heart that I have attempted to live up to the sentiment expressed in those comments. I don’t believe in giving up on people easily and I tread lightly through this life. I mean no-one any harm and I confess I am always greatly surprised when they do something unkind to me.
I don’t think that there is any sure way to spot a submissive woman, but I would like to think that they are the gentle people of the world. My husband tells me often that I am too soft, and that part of his job is to protect me from the hardness of life. Interestingly, my softness disappears when my children are in need of my protection. I am not inclined at all to ask for favour for myself but I can speak up for one of the children instantly if they need me to. When the little boy beside mine in the choir was going to make his life a misery over the weekend, up I went to talk to the choirmaster to have the matter addressed, and it was dealt with to my satisfaction. If it had been me needing to endure some unpleasant character, I would have stayed silent and got through it the best way I could. That is the difference.
I don’t need a flashy life. I don’t need to be rich. I don’t need powerful or famous friends. Acquisition of valuables is not necessary. I look to make my home as appealing and welcoming as I can, to embrace and love my family, to enjoy my friends and meet interesting people, and hopefully to see more of the world. More than anything, I seek a happy marriage, to be lovingly dominated and to be blissfully happy within my submission. I seek peace of mind.
I do indeed seek to live with dignity and grace. And, that your soul reached out to my soul to express that thought to me...well, all I can say is that I am exceedingly fortunate to have such lovely cyberspace friends. Thank you.
Well, I must say that I am humbled to have my thoughts as those defined as being with dignity and grace. I am going to try to live up to that lovely sentiment.
Whilst I have many faults, I know in my heart that I have attempted to live up to the sentiment expressed in those comments. I don’t believe in giving up on people easily and I tread lightly through this life. I mean no-one any harm and I confess I am always greatly surprised when they do something unkind to me.
I don’t think that there is any sure way to spot a submissive woman, but I would like to think that they are the gentle people of the world. My husband tells me often that I am too soft, and that part of his job is to protect me from the hardness of life. Interestingly, my softness disappears when my children are in need of my protection. I am not inclined at all to ask for favour for myself but I can speak up for one of the children instantly if they need me to. When the little boy beside mine in the choir was going to make his life a misery over the weekend, up I went to talk to the choirmaster to have the matter addressed, and it was dealt with to my satisfaction. If it had been me needing to endure some unpleasant character, I would have stayed silent and got through it the best way I could. That is the difference.
I don’t need a flashy life. I don’t need to be rich. I don’t need powerful or famous friends. Acquisition of valuables is not necessary. I look to make my home as appealing and welcoming as I can, to embrace and love my family, to enjoy my friends and meet interesting people, and hopefully to see more of the world. More than anything, I seek a happy marriage, to be lovingly dominated and to be blissfully happy within my submission. I seek peace of mind.
I do indeed seek to live with dignity and grace. And, that your soul reached out to my soul to express that thought to me...well, all I can say is that I am exceedingly fortunate to have such lovely cyberspace friends. Thank you.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
