Wednesday, October 24, 2018


My guided meditations in a group situation have been a huge hit. It's delightful to hear that the group participants enjoy them. I certainly love to give them. It's a very professional situation but it's also a message from the soul dimension. At first, I had  note cards but then I realized that I needed to trust myself - to let it come up from deep within. So far, so good.

This is not a brag session; on the contrary. This is evidence of my theory that when you talk to a healing practitioner of any sort it is important to realize that they aren't some sort of special person who has perfected the business of living. Knowing the 'theory' so to speak is a little different to being able to put what you know into practice every minute of the day.

Another way of putting all this is to say that I have some great days and I have some not so great days when in spite of a lot of knowing about living in the moment, I have no alternative but to notice that it is, quite simply, one of those days.

I can say that my emotions don't spill out at all. I have no impulsiveness that I actually act out. Rather, I am aware of what I call unwanted thoughts running through the mind. There are a couple of ways to deal with this:

- I could notice the thought, register that I am not my thoughts and refuse to interact with the thought.

- I could sit and be with the thoughts, feeling into the emotions that come along with the thoughts until they fall away, which they will do.

- I could go for a walk, which is the strategy I am about to put into action; perhaps otherwise known as distraction.

If I were to interrogate the thought and come up with a rational mind interpretation of the day I might conclude that there is a sort of  'soul loneliness' today; that what I really need (want?) is a sense of deep connection that isn't available to me at the moment, even if I were to reach out. It's the last part of that sentence that probably made it inevitable that I'd feel a bit off today.

It's the kinky part of my being looking for satiation. I know this feeling well. Often I can override it with the joy of living; other times not.

It's a small thing really; so much to be grateful for. I am sure this gratefulness thought will deepen as I feel the wind on my face this afternoon; the lull of being carried along by the train; walking on crowded streets. The feeling will dissipate as all feelings do. I am fully aware it is just a silly repetitive thought that offers me nothing. If only I could pay someone to take it away for good!

I have had so many wonderful moments with this kinky body of mine, but sometimes I do long for the disposition of the vanilla mind. What a bother it is to be ravenous for the kind of food that is so often out of season!