Domestic discipline

Here's  a little confession. I can procrastinate rather badly. Oh, I don't miss deadlines but I can put the issue off. Quite a bit of my writing on this web journal relates to said procrastination. It's the easiest thing in the world to sit here and type away my thoughts. They flow freely and aren't marked (well, once upon a time my posts were either 'Approved' or 'Declined' and my God, did I love that!) so when I have something I should do but don't feel like doing, I tend to come here. Also, I'm sitting in front of the television bored silly by what's on offer.

So, let's consider procrastination and see how this might be handled in a power exchange relationship. In my case, my procrastination is up to me to sort out. I don't ask for help and I don't need help with organizing my day or life. In fact, I'm the one in my relationship most likely to have the best handle on deadlines. I'm the most inclined to not take a task right up to the deadline. My husband is much more comfortable with the adrenaline rush of taking something right up to the deadline. If I consistently missed deadlines, then that would be another matter. But, I don't. So, what if a girl did miss her deadlines; what if she wasn't managing her life well?

I have no issue with a Dominant or Top creating rules that he thinks would aid the submissive (bottom). Structuring things must surely aid some people and there's the benefit of incentive that can be added into the program. I find it quite arousing to think that a person may say that I can't have chocolate (it's on my mind because I just had three little pieces of dark chocolate with my coffee) or that I have to run 5 out of 7 days or some such rule that is monitored.

Certainly, when we are on holiday my husband has an opportunity to monitor what I eat and a little piece of marzipan in dark chocolate is allowed usually but I must ask and not just help myself. It's a fun part of the dynamic because if he wants to use something against me and tells me I must be punished it can happen any time and with complete privacy with no children to worry about. Yay!

Within our day to day lives we've tried having black marks; a little black book if you will. For a time, it was fun and arousing for both of us. However, the bottom line is that he doesn't really want to monitor my every move and I don't really want him to monitor my every move. Spankings are usually welcomed but it's not necessarily our style for him to tell me that I've earned, say 12 swats and then have me get into position. I sit here and ask myself why that is so...

Well, it seems that I  like to be captured. It seems that I function best when I have no prior notice of what is going to happen. My husband has discovered, so he tells me, that the best situations are when he totally surprises me. Thus, I may not be fully awake when I find myself blind folded or bound or told to get over his knee, or be put over a pile of pillows and entered. There's no former planning about this sort of thing, as in he doesn't give me any warning or notice. It just happens and it seems that's what I respond to best.

This reminds me of one of the most delicious memories from this year. I had bought tickets for my youngest son and I to see a movie on a Saturday afternoon and my husband knew this. However, with about an hour before we were scheduled to leave my husband "captured" me in the bedroom. Within seconds he had me bound tightly to the bed. He had laid me across the bed sideways and tied my wrists together and my arms to the other side of the (four poster) bed. My legs were also secured firmly. I can't remember if he had a pretext for this course of action or he simply said that it was time for a hiding but either way I was immediately in the zone. The reason I say this is because I couldn't remember having my hands bound and later when I tried to get away (an instinctive reaction) I realized that I hadn't a hope.

So, he spanked my bottom for a while and then he transferred to an implement; our leather paddle. I couldn't get away which is always a good thing for me and for reasons unknown I was able to absorb a lot more pain than usual. My husband seemed to sense this and the paddling was harder and longer than it had ever been before. With no hint that I had reached my limit he paddled firmly away and his voice was very dominant; lower and more demanding than usual and it was that commanding voice telling me to just take it that seemed to work the magic, I think. I remember that I didn't want to relent; didn't want to give in and beg for him to stop. I wanted to see how much I could take. It was only when I was pulling at the restrains with all my might that he contemplated that I had had enough and secretly, even when he did stop, I questioned privately whether I could have taken more.

Of course, he removed enough rope to have his way with me. He's not a sadist in that he doesn't require to do this for his own needs but when he does do it he is always aroused by it. Then, he ordered me into the shower and to get myself together immediately because it was time for my son and I to leave.

I distinctly remember being agitated about being hurried along. After a sub-space experience I'd rather go slow. However, once the two of us were sitting down in the theatre and the movie began I recall the most extraordinary sense of well-being; this beautiful welling up of feelings of love; this gorgeous sense of sitting on a terribly sore bottom. I have no idea if other people experience this (please do tell me if you do) but I was filled with and overcome by a deep sense of satisfaction with my life and my love expanded not just to my loved ones but to the whole wide world. I was glowing in my appreciation and my rightful place in the world. It was a 'body and mind orgasm' and I was flooded with happiness.

This is really our sort of thing. Discipline is something that we don't really do. Oh,  I'll get the rounds of the kitchen if he doesn't care for my words or tone and I'll be told to leave his study if I come in there and start trying to throw my weight around to get him to do what I want him to do; that sort of thing. But, it doesn't work for him to tell me that I was rude (or naughty or disobedient or whatever) and it's time for my punishment. It did in the short term but it doesn't in the long term. Maybe that's just about us as a couple or maybe it's because we've been married so long it doesn't seem right. I don't really know.

If I watch spanking clips (and okay, I've watched a truck load lately just before bed time) I don't particularly enjoy the DD scenes. I go for the Master who is caning the poor schoolgirl's bare backside. There's nothing wrong with DD or DD spanking clips if that's your kink but it doesn't seem to be mine.

Quite some time ago now, I'd go to my husband or he'd come to me and  he would give me a few swats just before bed. I liked that, but it wasn't sustainable. Maybe things get tired if you do them every day. I think once a week is more doable but we can't be sure if the children are around or not at a particular time of the week and that gets in the way of any firm plan related to that.

Yet, every day now for many days I've woken with someone chasing my tail. My very first thoughts on waking are about being spanked or whipped or caned and I am starting to think that I really could do with much more spanking than I currently get!