When we were away for a few days recently, we were on our way back to the apartment with arm fulls of products that we had bought at the Salamanca Market when we reached a darling little store that I had seen on our last visit there a few years ago. It was 4.30 pm and she wouldn't be open all that long.
"Would it be all right if I ducked in here?" I asked my husband.
He was keen to take all the products home but he said he'd come back if I saw something; to call him.
Well, I did see something. The woman who owns the store has silk and velvet material made up in Vietnam and her store is filled with lovely garments.
"I am interested in the black velvet coat but I'll come back on Monday with my husband."
Well, she planned to close Monday as it was the long weekend, she said, so I told her that I'd call my husband and he'd come down, which he did.
She was very impressed. She said that she rarely gets a man in the store and she liked that I wanted his approval.
So, I tried on the coat again and he definitely liked it. He wandered around the store a little and located a short jacket in a soft black velvet that was reduced and also a lovely black velvet long scarf with a lining in black silk.
"Well, we best make a decision, she is about to close. I can't have them all," I whispered to him.
But, he simply gathered the three items and told her that we'd take all three of them. Oh my! In her eyes, I had a real gem in my grasp!!
It was very special and I think he was delighted to do that for me, in much the same way as I was delighted to encourage him to buy the special garden pruning cutters that he had spotted at the market and wanted. (Each to his own!)
I was thinking about that experience this morning and it occurred to me that he spent on my clothing about the same price as he would to get two young lads to come and take away some rubble in the backyard. Yet, he absolutely won't do it, no matter how much I beg and plead with him. The rubble will stay there looking ugly until he is able to do it himself.
Do you think that is because he feels some sort of guilt at paying for someone to do something that he feels he should do himself?? Why are men so stubborn about this sort of thing? He claims it is a financial decision but if that were really true why did he buy me the non-essential items?
Anyways, in the meantime, I continue to practice my mantra that I will only worry about what I can change and achieve and not worry about what I can't change
because
I definitely can't change him.
"Would it be all right if I ducked in here?" I asked my husband.
He was keen to take all the products home but he said he'd come back if I saw something; to call him.
Well, I did see something. The woman who owns the store has silk and velvet material made up in Vietnam and her store is filled with lovely garments.
"I am interested in the black velvet coat but I'll come back on Monday with my husband."
Well, she planned to close Monday as it was the long weekend, she said, so I told her that I'd call my husband and he'd come down, which he did.
She was very impressed. She said that she rarely gets a man in the store and she liked that I wanted his approval.
So, I tried on the coat again and he definitely liked it. He wandered around the store a little and located a short jacket in a soft black velvet that was reduced and also a lovely black velvet long scarf with a lining in black silk.
"Well, we best make a decision, she is about to close. I can't have them all," I whispered to him.
But, he simply gathered the three items and told her that we'd take all three of them. Oh my! In her eyes, I had a real gem in my grasp!!
It was very special and I think he was delighted to do that for me, in much the same way as I was delighted to encourage him to buy the special garden pruning cutters that he had spotted at the market and wanted. (Each to his own!)
I was thinking about that experience this morning and it occurred to me that he spent on my clothing about the same price as he would to get two young lads to come and take away some rubble in the backyard. Yet, he absolutely won't do it, no matter how much I beg and plead with him. The rubble will stay there looking ugly until he is able to do it himself.
Do you think that is because he feels some sort of guilt at paying for someone to do something that he feels he should do himself?? Why are men so stubborn about this sort of thing? He claims it is a financial decision but if that were really true why did he buy me the non-essential items?
Anyways, in the meantime, I continue to practice my mantra that I will only worry about what I can change and achieve and not worry about what I can't change
because
I definitely can't change him.
I'd say that's mojo talking, not money. I would be exactly the same yet I consider myself pragmatic. I hate to pay a tradesman for something I can do myself on my own turf. Perhaps it comes back to the base instinct: we men are territorial and don't like other dogs to come and pee on our patch. And we love to be the provider and treat those we care for. Makes perfect sense to me :)
ReplyDeleteHa! Interesting again. The day I have to pay young lads to do my physical work is a day I hope I don't live to see.
ReplyDeletePride is a terrible thing isn't it? But where would a man be without it?
rollymo: You just put the 'equal but different' concept to bed for me. Women happily pay for someone to help them do things they can't do whereas so many men find it so very difficult. It's a very hard thing for a women coz she has to wait for that task to be done. Sure, it may be free labor but she'd rather pay and get it done NOW. I see I'm up against the wall on this one!
ReplyDeleteAnon: I'm laughing because I feel I know you now so much better. I can almost see you! Even though I haven't a doubt you'd be difficult I feel rather certain you'd be delightful company, in a wolfish kind of way. LOL
An amusing reply Vesta. I tend to be delightful for those who appreciate wolves and decidedly less so for those who do not. Hence I am sure we would enjoy a little chat over coffee or some such. Your thought processes are most interesting!
ReplyDeleteAnon: I once said to my mentor when we were just getting to know one another that he was "difficult sometimes". "Only sometimes?" he asked with what I suspected was a disappointed (and playful) tone. I feel most alive in the company of wolves and feel sure we'd enjoy conversing over coffee. I assume you drink espresso?
ReplyDeleteShould you feel like explaining your definition of 'difficult' regarding wolves, I would be most interested to hear that.
ReplyDeleteYou assume espresso do you? Now that is amusing me rather a lot. I would prefer what might be called coffee American, if I may.
Anon: Sometimes I truly do wonder if wolves really *don't* know that they are being difficult. Perhaps they are just being themselves and so they don't understand the concept. They are difficult in so many ways I really could write a book. Well, in fact, I *am* writing a book about a specific wolf! Wolves ask a lot of questions and then they question you on the answers. They seem to almost purposefully misinterpret your responses so that they can make you feel a bit uncomfortable and have the opportunity to get you to spill more beans. They are sweet as pie and so they leave you feeling it's okay to get a bit more comfortable and collegiate with them and then they pounce when you are least suspecting it. They jolly you along, enticing you to do what they want by making it all so much fun. It goads you into believing that they are just a very fun playmate. You almost think that they don't have the control...you say you didn't feel like doing that little thing last night as usual, thinking he is so sweet he won't mind...There's silence for a few miserable seconds and then kaboom!!!...that nice playmate has turned into a real lamb-eating nasty, mean old wolf. They're unpredictable. That's what I mean by "difficult".
ReplyDeleteMy hunches are so often correct, I'm disappointed I didn't get your coffee preference just right, though I was close...Put it this way, I knew you weren't a caffe latte sort of man. I've developed a lactose intolerance this year out of the blue and my husband won't allow me to order soy milk because he says it is poison. So, if you get there first, I'll have a long black. Thank you.
Oh it would be a pleasure to order you whatever your little heart desired.
ReplyDeleteThank you for answering my question, that is most considerate of you. I seem to recognise your description, although I would hardly say it was being difficult! Actually that's amused me a lot, thank you. To effectively train, own and develop a girl(s) to her full potential we need to know EVERYTHING that she thinks and feels. Knowledge is power after all. I am afraid it is us going about our wolfish work and there is little that can be done about it. That's not to say that we don't feel sympathy for our charges, it is just that we know what is best for them. I am sure that brings them comfort!
Vesta, reading your words makes me happy.
ReplyDeleteThank you
L
littleone: It makes me happy to write words that may you happy.
ReplyDeletelittleone: *make* you happy. (a cindi moment back there)
ReplyDelete