Saturday, July 18, 2009

Seize the day

I happened to have the radio on in my bedroom recently as I was tidying the room up and I heard part of an interview of a man who was some sort of theologian. He came across to me as a learned and deep thinking sort of person, and perhaps too, it was his voice that pulled me in.

The interviewer asked, "So, why are we here (on earth)?"

The theologian said, "We are here for two reasons. We are here to be of help to others and we are here to find out about our self. Neither one is more important than the other." (or very similar words)

He had my complete attention. All these years, I had thought, that the right answer was that we are here to do good. Pure and simple. Every time that I took time out for myself in the past, I have felt a little guilty. Perhaps, I could do something for one of the children or be offering my assistance in some other capacity. It just didn't feel right often to go off and do something about finding out about myself. In any case, there were years and years of chasing my tail, just trying extra hard to keep up with the workload.

About three years ago, I could no longer contain my curiosity to know about myself and I began my explorations into my heart, my mind and my soul. It began with lust and then it broadened out into all my feelings; about being a woman, about being half of a relationship, and about what brought me the strongest sense of completeness.

I discovered that when you take that time out for yourself, you heal yourself and as you heal yourself, you have more to give back. It is very intoxicating, this voyage of discovery and one has to be aware of the way that it sucks up time. It is so deeply satisfying to truly know oneself that one can't stop until every last crumb of information is gathered, dissected and understood. Even then, the desire is to become a "better girl", and then the wonderful journey continues on.

Since I have felt quite indolent at times, taking this time out for myself, the theologian's words were music to my ears. It was perfectly all right to do both activities in this life and I was not short-changing anybody.

In my case, much of the journey has been expressed as words on paper; here, in diaries, in stories, and in exchanges on email and chat.

We each have our own very personal story to discover and to tell. I'm as intrigued in your story as I am in any other story. The beauty of growing older is that we can look back and begin to make sense of the journey so far and to know better where we have left to go and what might be best for us and those we love.

Each new day has a new beginning. Each new blank screen or piece of paper offers us an opportunity to express ourselves.

Seize the day!

5 comments:

  1. AnonymousJuly 19, 2009

    Dear Vesta,
    Beautiful post.
    Thanks!
    Maryann

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  2. AnonymousJuly 19, 2009

    Horace was right 2 mileneum ago "Carpe diem quam minimum credula postero" seize the day put no trust in tomorrow and you are right now. You must take care of yourself (mental, physical and spiritual) if you are going to be on any use to them.

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  3. Sir J: Agreed.

    Maryann: Thank you. I appreciate the compliment very much.

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  4. AnonymousJuly 20, 2009

    Dear Vesta,
    This post has urged me to come out from my lurking and post my first comment on your blog. I've been a reader for a while now and enjoy each of your posts.
    In the past 8 months, I've begun an intense journey of discovering who I am and who I desire to become in the future. I've taken actions to become that person and continue to do so. The road is difficult but so far, definitely worth it. It's interesting to me, as a complete stranger, that you say you are as interested in your story as you are in any other.
    This post spoke to me in my current situation and I just wanted to thank you for this and your other writings!
    ~ H.

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  5. Dear deutschesilke:

    You absolutely made my day! I am so very pleased that you are reading and that you find something in my writings to inspire you. Whether people comment or not, I always feel that you are somewhere out there and whilst I write from my own heart, my intention is to touch yours.

    No road is straight and no journey entirely easy. But, you are *on* the journey and that is really what matters.

    My very best wishes to you.

    ReplyDelete