Seize the day

I happened to have the radio on in my bedroom recently as I was tidying the room up and I heard part of an interview of a man who was some sort of theologian. He came across to me as a learned and deep thinking sort of person, and perhaps too, it was his voice that pulled me in.

The interviewer asked, "So, why are we here (on earth)?"

The theologian said, "We are here for two reasons. We are here to be of help to others and we are here to find out about our self. Neither one is more important than the other." (or very similar words)

He had my complete attention. All these years, I had thought, that the right answer was that we are here to do good. Pure and simple. Every time that I took time out for myself in the past, I have felt a little guilty. Perhaps, I could do something for one of the children or be offering my assistance in some other capacity. It just didn't feel right often to go off and do something about finding out about myself. In any case, there were years and years of chasing my tail, just trying extra hard to keep up with the workload.

About three years ago, I could no longer contain my curiosity to know about myself and I began my explorations into my heart, my mind and my soul. It began with lust and then it broadened out into all my feelings; about being a woman, about being half of a relationship, and about what brought me the strongest sense of completeness.

I discovered that when you take that time out for yourself, you heal yourself and as you heal yourself, you have more to give back. It is very intoxicating, this voyage of discovery and one has to be aware of the way that it sucks up time. It is so deeply satisfying to truly know oneself that one can't stop until every last crumb of information is gathered, dissected and understood. Even then, the desire is to become a "better girl", and then the wonderful journey continues on.

Since I have felt quite indolent at times, taking this time out for myself, the theologian's words were music to my ears. It was perfectly all right to do both activities in this life and I was not short-changing anybody.

In my case, much of the journey has been expressed as words on paper; here, in diaries, in stories, and in exchanges on email and chat.

We each have our own very personal story to discover and to tell. I'm as intrigued in your story as I am in any other story. The beauty of growing older is that we can look back and begin to make sense of the journey so far and to know better where we have left to go and what might be best for us and those we love.

Each new day has a new beginning. Each new blank screen or piece of paper offers us an opportunity to express ourselves.

Seize the day!