Patience

I have been giving thought to the trajectory of the submissive woman and her progress. Let's say that she has become aware over time of her nature. She understands that the dominant male does something for her and to her that she just can't ignore any more. She wants to experience it all. She wants to know what it is to submit full time. She has a sense that it could be the road straight to heaven, for her.

There are many women who think this out there, I am sure, yet their circumstances must be so different. In my case, I was already married and didn't have to go any further than to my husband who was right beside me. And, I wasn't brushed aside, either. This was clearly something I wanted very much and he didn't hesitate to do his best to make it happen for me. It is a relationship built on deep and long lasting love, and this new component could be added on; not without difficulty, but with hard work and love.

Some women must first find a man to submit to. Some partners may even decide to find a man to help train his girl. I imagine each particular situation has a unique quality to it and I can't even begin to imagine all the scenarios of all my readers, although I certainly do try.

But, my interest today is not so much in what is different about us but what may be expected or anticipated behaviour; common behaviour. I've talked before about experiences such as grief where experts can tell us what to expect. It is normal they will say to lie in bed for a few days without the desire or will to move on with life just yet; or whatever the case may be.

As far as I know, there has been very little work, if any, done on the anticipated or expected behaviours of women who choose to submit. One of the most amazing things to me is that a dominant man with experience in the task, can do more for a woman with a submissive nature than any university qualified 'expert' could ever do. They are an 'expert' in the woman with a submissive nature, and I listen carefully to what such men can tell me. They have observed women go through the motions and grades of learning to accept their natures, and in my opinion, they provide a special and unique service; free of charge and with no guarantees, but with their heartfelt desire to help (and enjoy).

I'm not particularly technical or scientific, yet I would so love to plot the progress or lack thereof. If one were able to do that, I think that what one would find is that the graph is all over the place. I think that there would be spiky ups and downs for quite some time before the graph started to take off, much like a jet leaving the ground for higher realms.

I say this because that is the way it was for me, and if that is the way it was for me, then maybe that is the way it was or will be for you, too. Submissive women are not robots. Submissive women are simply women with minds, souls, feelings and emotions. They may say that they want to submit, but when it starts happening, they may find the going very tough. They may find the words used to be too much. They may feel that their psyches are at risk of being damaged or that they have made a mistake. They may be angry and decide that they will disobey to express their anger. They may tell the dom to get 'dog knotted'!!

It may be swings and slides for quite some time. Some doms may give up. She is just too hard work. He wants someone who will just do as they are told. But, what if, tomorrow, she can? Tomorrow, she will be able to do as she is told. Just, not today! She isn't quite ready, through no fault of her own.

The dom requires a great deal of patience with certain girls. The dom required a great deal of patience with me. I've changed so much in the past few weeks that I can barely remember all the details. Let's just say that I reacted negatively to expectations of me and I called a halt to proceedings. And then, soon after, I had second thoughts. Perhaps, the dom in such cases is entitled to walk away and write her off to experience. That could easily have happened to me. But, in my case, I was taught a lesson that I won't soon forget; that I am much more when I submit than when I do not; that submission is definitely right for me.

By having a patient dom, perhaps even one who believed in me, and who felt that he had to try everything before he would ever give up, I was the winner. I needed that sort of dominance; the sort of dominance that could endure all the ups and downs of my personal graph before he began to see up upward and smooth trajectory of which he could be proud.

Perhaps, any good dom just knows instinctively what to do with his girl and how long it is likely to take. Since I work on instinct myself, I have respect for that. But, patience is sometimes simply a necessary tool for the dom. Too rigid a rule and he risks losing what could have otherwise been a huge success story.