THE BEGINNING

This blog is really just for me. It has been closed until today, the only reader being me. But, I have been contacted by a handful of people who have asked if they could read my blog and lately, the idea of writing here has become appealing. We’ll see how it goes.


You may know, that I wrote a few posts for Deity, over at ‘The Lustful Quality of Watching Her Erotic Demise.’ I wrote them back in December, 2008.


At the time, I knew nothing about actually having a blog. I just read other people’s blogs. But, Deity informed me that I needed my own, to transfer the posts over to his blog. Thus, ‘Vesta’s Submission’ was born. You can read those four posts here, but do keep in mind that they were intended for Deity’s site, whilst he had a little holiday.


Since then, life has been up and down. My part of the world has experienced some natural disaster, and much loss of life. And, I haven’t wanted to dwell too much on the machinations of my mind. It seemed too peripheral to all the loss people around me were experiencing.


And yet, submission is a big part of my life, and I can’t ignore it. It goes to the heart of me and what makes me happy. A happy woman makes for a happy man, and children, so it is to my family’s benefit, I would argue, that I continue to explore my submission, in spite of difficulties in the outside world.


My husband and I were talking about a family member recently, and her inability to focus on what was important. He said to me, “She is too busy analysing the analysis.” I burst out laughing. “I’ll remember that,” I said. “It’s perfect!”


So, I do wish to avoid, “analysing the analysis” in these blog posts, even if they are only going to be read by me, mostly.


On the other hand, I’m awfully prone to analysing the submissive response, and analysing MY response to submission, and so I apologize in advance to any reader who happens by, if I become a bit too ‘analytical’ in my response to the challenges thrown at me. In the past several months, I have developed the knack of what I call, ‘unpacking my mind’. That is to say, I write down why I might not have reacted well to any particular situation, and I try to analyse myself. Why was I not able to act submissively? Why did I feel upset when I read that message? Why am I feeling needy?


I regret to inform that the process can be time consuming. It has me pondering as I drive the car, or iron a shirt, or drift off to sleep. If I can’t get to the nub of it, I take my writing note book and write down thoughts. If I put on my runners and put the notebook into a carry bag and walk myself to a cafe, where I then drink coffee and write even more notes, one can be sure that not too much is going to be achieved until I have figured it out. My (inappropriate) submissive response or lack thereof, has to be reconciled. And, that is all there is to that.


This is the process that took place over the past several days and I’ll speak to it one day. However, I must warn the reader that, it’s complicated. Frankly, I'm complicated, and I’m especially grateful to those men in my life, who know this, but love and care for me anyway. I’ve an outstanding husband, a brave and wise mentor, and a few lovely dominant male friends. Together, they keep me on the straight and narrow, and whilst the blog is for me really, I dedicate the writing to them. Without them, I’d be...wanting.


So, if you can find something on these pages that interest you, then welcome to you.