Missing Mojo

The submissive woman is, of course, dependent on her dominant to dominate. Yet, dominants sometimes don’t feel particularly domly. As a woman who has lived in a vanilla style marriage I do, of course, concede that this is to be expected. When I was down, he’d jolly me along, and when he was down, I would do the same for him. But, now that we have a dominant-submissive style relationship, and our roles are more clear, I do have difficulty functioning well when my dominant is having an off week. When he is not feeling domly, then my submissive mind has serious misgivings.

Now, this morning we had one of our early morning chats in bed, rather vanilla style, and he revealed that right now, he is subject to anxiety about the world’s finances, just like many thousands of us, and that the pressure that ensues can leave him feeling less domly than usual. Well, the anxiety can lead me to feeling stressed out too, I told him. But, when a sub is missing dominance in her life, she may be in a forest, but all she can see are trees. She’s lost.

Usually, I don’t have to ask for my maintenance. He takes care of that, asking me to bend over the bed, perhaps, while he seeks out a cane or something else. It is maybe, five quick strokes across by bottom before he leaves for the day, and all is well. Last week, he didn’t order and I didn’t ask, hardly at all. I think you can guess the result. I got miserable, and we have been a bit out of sync. That is not good for me and it is not good for him. We both function at our best when we are very happy and settled in our relationship; when he is dominating me and I am being dominated. He told me this morning that I must come to him and ask for my maintenance.

“Do I have to ask?” I asked. “Couldn’t you just take control?”

“No. You have to ask. Maintenance is your responsibility. You need to be reminded that you want this. It is not being imposed on you. You come and ask.”

I don’t like the idea at all, but I can see that it is just one more little push closer to my stable. Of course, Janus has encouraged more than a push. He wants a ‘correction’. He wants me punished for not asking for my maintenance. (It’s a rule: If you don’t get it by a certain time, you have to ask.) He wants the cane to sear by bottom to make an impression on my mind. Sometimes, I wonder if he is a sadist. (Okay, that’s another joke.)

The jury is out. I’m slightly precious right now, and my dom isn’t sure that I’m quite up to that. It hangs out there, menacingly, as part of my weekly report. Janus can be as tough as hard leather boots, sometimes. (Are you reading this, Janus?) If he is, I can hear him saying, “Doesn’t she know by now? You have to be cruel to be kind, sometimes.” Yeah. I know. I know.

So, I guess, I can’t put it off any longer. I have to go and ask for my guy to beat me. Because, then we’ll both feel better. Strange, isn’t it?