Little Boys

Maurice Chevalier sang, “Thank heaven for little girls, for little girls get bigger every day.” I think those are the correct words to the song, anyway. But, this morning I found myself thinking, “Thank heaven for little boys.”

I have a young man staying with me at the moment. He is a special young man, with a commitment to his talent that he hopes to see through to a dazzling career on the most renowned stages of the world. He was selected at a very tender age to be trained, and I find it quite awe inspiring. He gets up early without being called; he goes to bed in good time to get up early. He keeps careful track of the time, keeping me on track to get him where he needs to be. He has very long hours of rehearsal and performances, but you can see that he lives for the performance. I went to see him perform and he was very anxious to know what I thought. He takes a quiet pride in people’s pleasure gained from what he does. I can’t say how his love life will be in a few years, but I think he’ll be fine. Certainly, he can chat happily with my daughter and they clearly enjoy one another’s company, in spite of language issues.

This morning, I asked if I he had any clothes he would like me to wash and he said he would leave them on the bed. As I whisked by his room, I remembered the clothes and scooped them up. As I was leaving the room, I noticed that there was a little bear on his pillow. My heart melted. Not quite a man yet, he still cuddled his bear and travelled with it. How utterly adorable!

I am not sure why exactly, pure serendipity probably, but my children are all soft hearted. Not one of them would hurt a fly. They will stand up for themselves if they need to, and they have needed to at times, but their hearts are soft as butter. My youngest still carries around his special soft object, and my husband will sometimes say that it is time he gave it up. But, the time will come soon enough.

Little boys need so much love and care. Soon enough they grow to be big, strong men with loads of responsibilities, and the tables often turn. They are responsible for their girlfriends and wives, and their children eventually, perhaps. To become those big, strong capable men, they need a mother who loved them and supported them through thick and thin. My eldest son said to me once that I reminded him of a lioness. Try hurting one of her cubs and she’ll go from being passive to a hunter in one stride. Yes, that’s me.

Once upon a time, my husband was a little boy who had his special bear. Now, I suppose I am his ‘little bear’. He cuddles in with me. His mother, I’m told, was a very gentle, caring woman who lived for her family. That makes sense. It just seems to me that if you give the love in spades when they are young, support them, encourage them, and praise their best efforts, they are in good shape to give their love in turn to the little girls growing up that Chevalier was referring to.

In a D/s relationship, disobedience is punished. And, I’m not arguing with that. Not today, anyway. But, positive reinforcement is very important, I think. Imagine the child who rushes home with an excellent report, and the parent did not bother to sing the child’s praise. What message is that child being given? The submissive woman wants to make her dominant happy and she wants to hear that he is happy with her. She wants to know that she is loved. In the end, it is all about love.