More or less

The notion of a dress code has been quite irresistible to me for a long time. This is in line with my strong desire to live my entire life with more order and less clutter. I'm a girl who enjoys putting out the rubbish. Yes, it's that bad. I like to bring things in my life down to the simplest level. I think you can credit having multiple children for that, in part. I've lived with multiple balls, cricket bats, lacrosse sticks, and musical instruments; toys by the zillion and countless wrappers stuck in the couch for countless years. But, truth be told, I remember even as a very young child, wanting order and a clean environment. It is just my very strong preference.

It was no issue to me when I went to work for a man who wanted not only order in his life, but to be surrounded only by beautiful things. I enjoyed creating and maintaining that environment and learning from him. Suddenly, I was noticing the beauty of the order in the John Brack's painting in his office that he so admired, or of the Christmas lillies that I bought every Monday morning and placed into his handsome glass vase, to sit in front of the mirror and brighten the day of both of us. I became aware of the importance of high quality writing paper, or of having one good pen with which to write. He never wanted much of anything but what he wanted had to be first rate. The philosophy suited me well.

Of course, children aren't like that, and whilst you can do your best to instil those thoughts in them, children have their own ideas. Even if I had managed to convince them all that quality should be more important than quantity, with lots of children, the number of items expands before your very eyes. The last year has been about sorting those items and giving them away to the right people. My youngest son, who almost believes that every object has feelings, has accepted that the time has come to do this, so long as he can be sure that all the toys and so on are going to the right homes.

Although it has taken far too long, I now have a dress code. I've given away a lot of clothes and the Red Cross is happy about that. I am happy, too. I look at my wardrobe these days and feel wonderful. I know where things are, what goes with what and I don't feel bad that I don't have more choice at all. I like the fact that what is left are items of clothing that I like, that work on my body, and that help me to feel feminine. No, not all the pants have gone but there aren't too many of them left, either.

One of the little details left to be sorted out is what happens when I would like to make a clothing purchase. I'm not sure but I suspect that something may have to go before something else comes in. I've already noticed that when I look in a store, or a magazine, I do so with purpose. I have in my mind only what I might need to fill a gap in my wardrobe. I only consider what would make me feel more feminine. I think very carefully if I want it so badly that I am prepared to give something else up in my wardrobe. Rather than feeling limited about that, I find it very liberating.

Reacting this way to the new limits on my life, to my dress code, I read the following statement by a psychologist I respect with interest:

"Mine may be the last generation (she's about my age) to be raised with the notion that frugality is a virtue. Like most of my contemporaries, I have taken to conspicuous consumption..."

She also writes, "There are few(er) convincing reasons why I still have tiny clothes from my skinny, young-woman years in London. Or so many clothes that are newish but startlingly similar. How many pairs of plain black trousers...does any woman need?"

How many indeed?

I admit I am feeling (sickeningly?) virtuous at the moment. I am loving the new me; that girl who wouldn't dream of buying a new pair of sandals for summer, for example, before she agreed to off load a current pair she owns. I am finding pleasure in embracing the notion of acting with purpose, with intention in my actions. As my limits and boundaries narrow and my containment increases, I feel that I am responding well. I feel safer, stronger; more stable and secure.

The saucemeister suggested to me that there is an "inherent frugality in D/s relationships, an economy of many things;... more things are intentional, purposeful..." And, I think that is right. A D/s relationship can be a very noble thing. Mentoring a submissively minded girl can be a very noble thing. Acting with purpose; restricting one's consumption, being sure of one's intention are noble pursuits.

As I become less, I become more.