Listening

My husband has known me since I was a young girl, fresh out of school and I've known him since he was a young man. We've been witnesses to all the ups and downs of our adult lives. We have accomplished much together but nothing is more important than our children. My husband was present at the births of all the children, proud as punch, and he has been our rock ever since. There have been moments when I lost perspective and he was always there to tell me, in no uncertain terms, what the real deal was. He has a 'no nonsense' approach to my concerns and worries at times; pulling me back to the centre and assuring me that everything will be just fine in the end.

In fact, as his partner in life, I've needed to provide him with similar support. There have been times when he has been unable to see the road ahead clearly and I've needed to help him find focus. He's relied on me for decades as his 'sounding board' and I listen quietly whilst he tells me about this conversation or that; what someone didn't do right, or what his strategy is about this and that. It's imperative, I've found, to remain calm, to listen attentively and for any suggestions made to be done discreetly. My role is not to dissect the strategy and suggest a better one. You must trust me when I say that such an approach does not work. What he needs is someone on whom he can rely and trust to simply listen to him.

Last night, we met for dinner at a local restaurant to celebrate the end of the week. The end of my week had begun a little earlier than his and I'd enjoyed a glass of wine on the couch whilst watching an hilarious movie. I was very relaxed. At the restaurant, we both ordered a glass of wine, and with business matters on his mind, he began to tell me about what so and so had said and how that wasn't right and what he needed to say to another so and so about that, and so on. I confess I glossed over. I'd heard so much of this lately, and all through our little holiday. I just wanted to relax.

"You've glossed over. You're not interested. Who can I talk to about this, if I can't talk to you?"

He was right, of course but I'd made him cross and he continues to be cross with me this morning as he takes a conference call that will last most of the morning. My task, after the call, will be to assure him that I am interested, that I do support him, and that I want to be the one he comes to.

Getting it right as a wife/life partner is often harder, I find, than getting it right as a submissive girl. A submissive girl knows what her role is, but a wife sometimes has one glass of red wine too many and puts her foot in her mouth.

I'm off to look for that submissive hat of mine and get myself back in the good books...