Last night, as I was walking past, nearby to where my son was on the rowing machine doing an ergo, I heard him panting. He'd been really pushing it and he was quietly gasping for breath. It wasn't too shabby given that he had put in a long, gruelling day at work. But then, I heard the machine come to life again, and he was off for another round. Of course, that is how he was trained to do it, when he was racing; when the coach required his peak level of fitness. Nowadays, there is no coach in his life. No, he was pushing himself. I was quietly impressed. He is a man on a mission. He knows what he wants.
This morning, with the house quiet, I thought to do an ergo myself. I've been using his rowing machine for a couple of months now, fairly regularly, but I haven't managed to keep on it for more than ten...eleven, tops...minutes at a time. I thought about my son and I thought about my daughter. She's a quiet achiever that one and she'd risen to be in the top rowing squad at school and performed outstandingly well. Not a natural athlete, her talents being in the creative and performing arts, if she could do it, why couldn't I? What excuse did I have to be a wimp.
So, this morning, I searched out my I-Pod and turned it on and put the ear phones in my ears. I was going to do better today! Music is a wonderful, motivating thing and as I passed the ten minute mark, I realized that I had plenty in the tank. I was not even close to finished. The minutes passed...12, 13, 14, 15, and I could see that 20 minutes on the same setting as my son (high!) was definitely achievable. I felt terrific! I felt so proud of myself. I was strong. I was woman. I was doing this!
I'm incredibly lucky in my life nowadays. I really am. Not only have I a wonderful husband who has embraced all the goals I have set for myself but I also have a wonderful friend who has been willing to mentor me. A very big part of that mentoring has been about me wanting the goals for myself. I repeat: me wanting the goals for myself. He knows down to his bones that it is no use the dom insisting on goals that won't work for the girl; that won't make the girl happy. The dom/top, and the girl are in this together and the girl has to find the motivation within herself to embrace the changes. She has to really want it. He is there beside her, but she has to desire change for herself, too.
The first few weeks of getting fit were not fun. I was perpetually tired and challenged. Even worse, with my body passing through a significant life change, it was resisting my efforts. Over several weeks though, I found I was winning the war against my body's desire to put on weight. It was happening.
Now, I feel that the changes I have made are set in stone. I may still have the odd naughty treat, but my choices of food and my daily regimen of exercise are altered for good. I am well on my way to achieving my weight and fitness goals.
Having someone to support/cajole/growl at us along the way is important to we kinky girls, but finding the motivation within ourselves, I have learned, is an essential component. Just do it. No excuses. No complaints. You'll be glad you did.
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I definitely need to get motivated to make a few positive chances like this in my life. I love music. Its often the soundtrack to my life when I'm dealing with pain or happiness or just trying to sort through life's journey. Good for you!!
ReplyDeleteI love this.
ReplyDeleteI love the self motivation factor - while at times we submissives need external motivation to keep us on track, for things that aren't that important to our Dominants, but important to us, there *must* be self motivation. Even when external motivation is what keeps us going in whatever we do, if we don't internalize and find some way to motivate ourselves, then the row will be a long one to hoe.
Or that's my take on it anyway, and I really love what you said here!
support CAN help, Vesta, agreed there but ultimately you have to find it in yourself to want the changes- you're so right on that point!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on the changes! The bonus about feeling that is that it then provides continued incentive to keep forging ahead and meeting goals.
Kitty: Yes, music can be incredibly motivating. I lament how hideous the music on the radio is these days. Often, the lyrics are terrific, but the music itself, talentless. Thank goodness for CDs and I-Pods.
ReplyDeleteschiava: Agreed. I think that submissives need to understand this very clearly. Dominants may come and go but a submissive always has herself on which she can call. She must develop resilience and learn to motivate herself for her own good.
selkie: It is those endorphins, I think. They feel so good pumping around the body and it certainly does encourage a girl to keep the momentum up. Thank you for your support.