Dancing Class

Upon returning to the bedroom from the spa, I thought to have a nap. Alas, I could not sleep and I turned on the television to see if there might be a movie. Indeed, there was. It was the one where Demi Moore plays Sergeant O'Neil. She is being trained as a Navy SEAL and it is gruelling stuff. At one point the person in charge says, "Pain is your friend." That resonated!

There was another great line that this time had me rushing for my kinky notebook. I had to get this one down.

"Sergeant O'Neil, when I want your opinion I will give it to you."

Isn't that priceless?

Then, I started thinking. In fact, I had heard that before somewhere. Where was that? Oh, yes! When I was working, one day I said to my boss,

"Anyway, you don't want to hear my opinion. You will just do it your way."

He replied: "Not at all, my dear. I am happy to discuss it with you at length; after which I will then do it my way."

Just now, as I was talking to my husband about Sir J's 'Entitlement' entry, he looked over at me from his side of the bed and said,

"If you don't stop talking, I am going to have to fill your mouth with something."

Really! A girl can't be blamed for sometimes getting the feeling that men might find them wordy!

I suppose the challenge is to convince the dominant man of our point of view - by fair means or foul. The challenge is also to admit defeat. They will do things as they see fit and as submissive women, we must rise to the challenge of accepting that.

As a woman with plenty of opinions of my own, (and possibly you noticed that already)I find that a great challenge. Sometimes, it is asking me to accept that the sky is green. I know in my gut that I am accepting a mistake. Demi was asked to do the same thing; to accept that her greater understanding of the situation would be overruled. I felt for her.

I think what I have learned over the past year is that I do in fact have input into decision making, regardless of what my dom decides. The more controlled I am in my presentation, the more willing I am to listen to his point of view in a calm way, the more likelihood I have of swaying him to my point of view.

At the end of the day, he will do things his way, as he always has. In fact, the more submissive I am able to be, the more confident he feels, the more his decisions are spot on. It is a dance that I have found some difficulty in learning. I believe, however, that I may have the steps down pat, finally. He leads and I follow...whispering in his ear, ever so daintily.

O'Neil had guts. She was intelligent and refused to quit. Ultimately, she had the boys eating out of both hands. She earned that privilege because she proved to them that she was worth listening to.

A dominant man, quite naturally, does things his way. A clever dominant man listens to his intelligent submissive, appreciating her input into a situation. He listens, takes into account her read of it, and then, using his own intellect, makes a final determination. I won't argue with that any more. I accept it.

A wise dominant man gives his submissive the entitlement of speaking her point of view. Then, he makes use of his entitlement to have the final say, and lead the dance of their lives.

I just wish I had bothered to go to dancing class sooner!

P.S. I *am* relaxing! When I write, I am relaxed!