I am currently reading a book called 'Sex Diaries' by Bettina Arndt. She had around one hundred couples keep diaries for her of their love making, and how they felt about it all.
I won't go into all that today, but there is so much analysis in there, I know I won't be able to resist talking about it soon in quite some depth.
However, I do want to say this. The book is loaded down with women who avoided sex; men who felt upset that their women were avoiding sex. There is the odd case of it being the other way around. Some women were upset that their men didn't want sex more often. On the whole, however, not wanting sex enough (for their husband's appetite) was the domain of the women. The couples were out of balance. The stories are not all bleak by any means, for in some cases the couples were able to resolve their issues.
In a D/s relationship, it seems to me, 'balance' of sexual desire is less of an issue. Part of the arrangement is that the woman knows that she is his to have as he wants. Submissives are not inclined to say:
"Not now, darling. I still have to do the laundry."
Such a response may have her taken over the washing machine instead! And, it is unlikely the submissive would complain about that, either!
I have looked up the index of the book for words like 'dominant' and 'submissive' and 'power exchange' and 'good girls' and there is no mention of our way of life, oddly enough.
In our way of life, there is little mention of inadequate amounts of sex.
Are you thinking what I am thinking?
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I've read a few submissive's blogs where they've complained about not having enough sex and with my first owner experienced it myself.
ReplyDeleteI was expecting it to be a non-stop sex fest as, well, sex was what I was there for. He could have it whenever and however he wanted and I thought there was something wrong with me when he didn't use me for what I was intended.
It seems that sometimes if they *can't* get it 'on-tap' it makes it a bit more appealing...
"Are you thinking what I am thinking?"
ReplyDeleteIf by that you meant where is the washing machine than yes I think I am.
subtletimes: Welcome to the blog and thank you for your comment. You raise a most important point. At times, it certainly does seem that the submissive's libido is higher than her dom, yes! Certainly, there have been moments when I have heard something like, "You are just greedy!". It pulls a girl up with a round turn. I once read a dominant who wrote something like, "A submissive must learn that sometimes she shines bright and sometimes she just has to serve quietly." I took that to mean that sometimes the dominant wants to sleep!
ReplyDeleteI do hope that you'll comment again.
Sir J: Very cute, indeed! What I was thinking was that submissives have more fun. Thinking about it, perhaps we were, in fact, thinking along much the same lines.
ReplyDelete