One of the aspects of a power exchange relationship that I appreciate so much is the ability to grow as a person, as well as a woman. Not only have I learned how to be a good submissive, but I have also learned about myself; what I do well and what I could do better.
One of the things I don't do so well is cope with stress. I tend to be a worrier and sometimes I put much too much energy into the worry and not enough energy into either, solving the problem if I can, or not worrying so much, if I can't.
In a sense, this goes to the heart of our power exchange dynamic. As the dominant, my husband will make many decisions on my behalf. He will almost always explain to me what he has done, or what he is going to do. Certainly, there have been times when I have not agreed with his decision. Sometimes, I have been right not to agree. Sometimes, it would have been better if he had gone my way. Reconciling that has not been easy.
However, I am reconciled now to the fact that he is my dominant, and that he is doing what he believes is right for me and all the family. He welcomes my input, and he tells me that he listens carefully to everything that I say. At the end of the day, he will make the decision himself and he will be responsible for it himself. My job is to support him in making those decisions. Perhaps for some of you reading, this is 'D/s Relationships 101'. Even so, it has been a huge learning curve me for.
I was reading about 'mindfulness' last night. Mindfulness helps to develop acceptance.
"What is happening is happening, and if we rail against it we make it worse."
Where was Dr. Hassad when I needed him?
My husband and I have often used the phrase, "He can't see the forest for the trees." So, I paid attention when I read this:
"If you are lost in the forest, this does not mean that you don't do anything. You accept that you are lost and put your attention to getting out of there. A response is required that needs careful attention, but in our mind we often amplify the stress and burden associated with things enormously."
Yes, guilty as charged!
But, what is wonderful about being a submissive is that the right dominant man can teach you so much about yourself. As a submissive, your place is not just to serve, but to grow; to flourish in his attentive and intelligent care.
The power of D/s is magnificent.
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Well said, Vesta. And there is a story I want to share with you. I heard it about anger but it applies to worry too.
ReplyDeleteThere was a yoga student who worried too much. He went to his yogi (yoga instructor) and asked how he could rid himself of this habit. the Yogi instructed the student to visit the Great Wise One in the woods for he had the answer for All That Is, and he could instruct the student how to let go of his worries.
So the student went off into the woods in search of The Great Wise One. He came upon a very scruffy looking old man in the forest hugging a tree. The student asked if he was The Great Wise One, and the old man replied, "yes."
The student asked The Great Wise One how the student could rid himself of his worries. The Great Wise One replied, "I will tell you when this tree lets go of me."
The student was dumbounded. He said, "Silly Old Man!! The tree is not holding on to you! You are holding on to the tree!"
The Great Wise One dropped his arms, and slowly smiled at the student. "Ahh, young one. Very good! And, so it is with you. Your worries are not hanging on to you. It is you who is hanging on to your worries."
As always, easier said than done.
We have all used the term D/d or M/s 101 or some variation of it at times. We do it I think to indicate a beginners level of learning as in a 1st year university class. Oddly nobody ever gives us the 200 or 300 level explanation. That aside when I went to university we all took different course at different times and this is like life. We all learn at our own pace. The important thing is that you are learning about yourself and a submissive and a woman and a person.
ReplyDeletePersonally I am not sure I can handle it if you become any more of a woman but perhaps there is something to be said about the submissive part??? hehehe
cutesy pah: I *love* your story and I will remember it. It ties in so nicely with the being in the forest thought. As you said, it is easier said than done, but it is certainly a goal to strive for. Thank you so much for sharing.
ReplyDeleteSir J: The though has crossed my minds many times that no dom is prepared to write the manual, so it seems that we have to get through the course as best we can without one. And, as for your last comment, who was the one who strongly suggested that I say what was on my mind?? Are you feeling a tad sorry about that? LOL