In my reading over the past few days about patriarchy, the term 'patriarchal voice' just didn't work for me. What I did was replace that term with another. I thought of this voice as a 'protective voice'. It's the voice that we go to for advice about what society deems we should do. This worked better for me. In taking advice from that voice, we can compromise parts of ourselves in that we may not set limits as to what is acceptable and healthy behaviour for us. Or, we may bury other aspects of our personality.
In many cases, I believe, we can lose the 'inner child'. This happens to both men and women as life takes on more and more responsibility and as we listen and take heed to societal pressures. It happens to all of us, in some measure.
During the time of my mentoring, my inner child was allowed free reign. Of course, there were rules and very specific ways of interacting. I knew my place and should I forget, the correction was immediate. For both of us, and I strongly believe this, we were two kids let loose in the candy shop. We were often joyous, child like; exuberant. Fun was very much close to the top of the agenda.
For ages, I wasn't really aware of this. I was too busy just letting out that part of my personality to think about it. I see very clearly now that what was so very special about the exchange (and there were other special things as well) was that we both allowed our inner child free reign.
It's a complex thing because I distinctly remember one time not wanting to do something and the child part of my psyche said so. He insisted that it must be done. There was no manipulation or strategic thinking involved when I replied, "But, wot if cindi sed pleeeeeez? He replied that it wouldn't matter. She still had to do as she was told. This floored me. Didn't little children get their way if they asked oh so nysssseli?? If they were adorable enough, didn't the person in charge say, "Oh, all right. Just. this. one. time." So, my inner child was allowed free reign so long as she understood the voice of authority.
When people listen too hard to their protective voice, they can become very serious. There are all sorts of reasons why they shouldn't do what they would like to do. Or, on the flip side, they want to please, if they are a pleaser, and they don't lay down some limits to protect themselves enough. I think this patriarchal voice that I have been reading about simply is the same thing that my psychologist spoke to me about. It was absolutely fine for me to express the very feminine side of my personality but I also needed to give expression to the side of my personality that wanted to achieve something in the real world for myself. I could be nurturing and doting and giving and submit so long as I put some boundaries around myself. It was okay for me to express all components of my personality. I didn't need to stick to just one entirely.
I look back on my mentoring sessions with great affection. It was my opportunity to let my inner child out in the sunshine to run free. Often gleeful, full of mirth and giggly it was a heady and happy time in my life; the loveliest of gifts.
In many cases, I believe, we can lose the 'inner child'. This happens to both men and women as life takes on more and more responsibility and as we listen and take heed to societal pressures. It happens to all of us, in some measure.
During the time of my mentoring, my inner child was allowed free reign. Of course, there were rules and very specific ways of interacting. I knew my place and should I forget, the correction was immediate. For both of us, and I strongly believe this, we were two kids let loose in the candy shop. We were often joyous, child like; exuberant. Fun was very much close to the top of the agenda.
For ages, I wasn't really aware of this. I was too busy just letting out that part of my personality to think about it. I see very clearly now that what was so very special about the exchange (and there were other special things as well) was that we both allowed our inner child free reign.
It's a complex thing because I distinctly remember one time not wanting to do something and the child part of my psyche said so. He insisted that it must be done. There was no manipulation or strategic thinking involved when I replied, "But, wot if cindi sed pleeeeeez? He replied that it wouldn't matter. She still had to do as she was told. This floored me. Didn't little children get their way if they asked oh so nysssseli?? If they were adorable enough, didn't the person in charge say, "Oh, all right. Just. this. one. time." So, my inner child was allowed free reign so long as she understood the voice of authority.
When people listen too hard to their protective voice, they can become very serious. There are all sorts of reasons why they shouldn't do what they would like to do. Or, on the flip side, they want to please, if they are a pleaser, and they don't lay down some limits to protect themselves enough. I think this patriarchal voice that I have been reading about simply is the same thing that my psychologist spoke to me about. It was absolutely fine for me to express the very feminine side of my personality but I also needed to give expression to the side of my personality that wanted to achieve something in the real world for myself. I could be nurturing and doting and giving and submit so long as I put some boundaries around myself. It was okay for me to express all components of my personality. I didn't need to stick to just one entirely.
I look back on my mentoring sessions with great affection. It was my opportunity to let my inner child out in the sunshine to run free. Often gleeful, full of mirth and giggly it was a heady and happy time in my life; the loveliest of gifts.
No comments:
Post a Comment