When all is said and done, and if I am to be completely honest here, I must state the very simple fact that without expression of the very real and raw part of me that needs to receive dominant energy and to be overwhelmed by that energy, I am but a shadow of myself. Sure, I provide for my family and function in society. Society and family sees the surface of me and that is a functional and relatively happy woman. Underneath, what they don't see, if the dominant energy is unavailable to me, is the real me who can feel a hunger that goes to the pit of her being.
"I am terribly sorry but I am so desperately thirsty."
These are the words (as best I remember them) that Johnny Depp's character, Barnabus Collins, says to the man whose blood he is about to drink when he is released from the coffin after two centuries. Whilst watching Dark Shadows yesterday, when I should have winced, I smiled, because I knew exactly how he felt.
To be this kinky is sometimes an awful burden. We want what we want and we want it with such greediness it can overcome us. It is as if we have tasted the best cake in the world and now that cake has been put behind glass. We can see it, smell it and imagine the taste. It obsesses us and try as we might to distract ourselves, we want another piece of that cake!
For years and years, I didn't understand and wouldn't watch a vampire movie if you paid me. But, Johnny fed me a little yesterday and for that I am eternally grateful.
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Oh I love this post! The need for the Dominant energy, I've never really though of it like that, but that is the perfect description.
ReplyDeleteIt surprises me what you said about not watching vampire movies for years. I know of several submissives where vampire stories sort of lit the fire that led to a more kinky existence. I'm glad Mr. Depp convinced you otherwise for I think that fertile imagination of yours may really enjoy them. :)I know mine sure has. Can't wait to see Dark Shadows!
I know I was personally hooked long ago when seeing Brad Pitt and Antonio Banderas in Interview with a Vampire. That led to me reading the series and more of Anne Rice's kinky works, really my very first intro to BDSM.
Oh! Vesta, you put it so well, that greediness that overcomes us. That need for Dominant energy... when I don't get it I feel as if I live that half life.
ReplyDeleteI saw the movie today,btw. Laughed uproariously. I loved it, but how could I not? My adult crush playing my childhood crush. I have wanted to be Barnabas Collins minion since I was 8 years old.
Serenity: It's funny. Back in the days when I could mine my mentors' mind, in the days when we were 'friends, I asked him if he related to vampires in any way and he said that he didn't shy away from them. I must have been aware enough of vampires and their relationship to the concepts we discuss here to see the connection. But, on the whole I have ignored vampires and such stories. But, Johnny Depp's characterization definitely left an impression and the final moments of the movie seemed entirely appropriate to me. I won't spoil it for you but it is a deeply satisfying ending.
ReplyDeletemonkey: Wasn't it terrific?! I only had a short period of time available and this was the only movie I could see, but it was a lucky break. I found it funny, a gorgeous return to the 1970s and the music of that era and of course, I'll watch anything that Johnny Depp is in, except I won't watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory again. I found the ending very satisfying. It was great fun.
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