Recently, Sir J posed the question 'Does a dom have to be smart?'. This got me thinking. Can a sub be too smart?
Having worked hard to establish their capabilities and smarts, women are not inclined to be put down by men these days. They want to be taken seriously and any suggestion of inequality is not going to fly. Nor, should it fly.
But, that can make submission a difficult task. When the man asks her to do things that might suggest to her educated and worldly brain that he might think she is below him (perhaps, literally!) her sensibilities may be offended. One side of her brain is telling her that she is an educated, bright, witty and capable grown up woman.
The other side of her brain has a different message. She wants to do exactly as he tells her to do. What he is asking her to do may suggest that she is slutty and horny and, heaven forbid, a bimbo. But, she so wants that!
Then, the big girl side of her brain tells her to pull her socks up and resist! Women with jobs and responsibilities and children and school functions to attend must not listen to that horny girl raging inside of her. She is a mature woman! She can't do that. And, what is wrong with him anyway for making such a lewd suggestion? Who does he think he is?!
What to do? What to do? How does one reconcile the two characters lurking inside the head of the same woman?
Well maybe, there are two parts to a submissive woman. There is, for example, Vesta good girl; capable, conscientious, bright, learned and organised.
As well, there is another girl with another name; a slutty name. Well, not another girl exactly. Inside of her is a toy with her own identity. She's silly. Beri silly! She is just a beri silly, horny bimbo. She is so beri silly that she can't even spell. She likes to twirl. Wheeeeeeee! And, she likes to have fun. Lots of fun!
The man likes both sides of his woman. He likes his capable and well groomed girl to meet him at the airport. She is dressed beautifully in black woollen skirt, fine wool cardigan, and black suede boots. He likes to see her sitting up straight opposite him at an Italian restaurant and he doesn't even mind when other men spend time looking at her, so happy is she to see her man and be out on the town with him again.
After dinner, he also likes to take his well dressed wife home and undress her. When he does he discovers that his sophisticated woman is really more like a toy. She doesn't want to think. Maybe, she can't think. Maybe, she just wants to fuck. Could she be, could she be, just a...fucktoy!?
It is said that blondes have more fun. So, what of bimbo blondes?
I am sorry. I can't tell you. I'm too beri silly to even thwink.
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Great post. I am submissive in the bedroom, but a powerhouse of authority in the office. I told my Man that I can submit only to someone who is at least as intelligent as I am. Luckily, I found him.
ReplyDeleteWanna link blogs?
pammie
what exactly is the difference between a blonde and a bimbo blonde???
ReplyDeleteJust kidding
BG: We can do that after I fuck you silly. - not that you aren't normally.
ReplyDeleteJz: Who, sir? Me, sir? No, not I sir!
BG: yes, you, my silly wanton slut.
Jz: I may have to have that on a T-shirt!
BG: lmao
********
And I'm brunette! (now with, er, um, "platinum highlights"...)
To address your question, however, I don't think a sub necessarily needs to dumb down. But if you believe that sex is one of the ways that adults play, then you do have to be willing to step aside and let Twirling Girl take the stage. (I love that image! Probably because I'm entirely guilty of that myself. As recently as last week, in fact...)
I think people are reluctant to let themselves be playful simply because they're afraid of looking foolish. We all like start off liking to play. It's just that some people get too caught up in what society deems "appropriate" behavior and let themselves forget how to goof.
I, on the other hand, live by the credo, "Own Your Silliness!" (It keeps you young
pammi: It is the clever girl who can be focussed on success in her life, but know that success with her man requires her to bring out her playful side. Sure, I'd be happy to swap links.
ReplyDeleteSir J: Who is more playful, I wonder, you or me? Just when I was worried I had gone too far, you drop the clanger of the year! LOL
Oh, and by the way, there is no difference. I stand corrected. Giggles...
Jz: Thanks for the anecdote; love those! Playing with a dominant man is something I *love* to do. I love to giggle, to feel the bubbles of fear (does he really mean that?) and to experience the back of forth of the interchange. When a woman "twirls" part of her is a "dolly" and it is this youthful, non-worrying silly thing, that a man adores!
oh Vesta I am certain you are I am Mr Serious no sense of humour here, none, no how, nope
ReplyDeleteI don't see the problem. A fucktoy in smart clothes is still a fucktoy. A grownup woman (or whateveryouwanttocallit) in flagrante is still a grownup woman, whatever the delicto. Presumably part of the enjoyment of submission and degradation is the tourism.
ReplyDelete73: No problem as far as I can see, either.
ReplyDeleteGoing back up to the question at the beginning of the post: the sadist frequently tells me that he values me for my brain. He wants me precisely because I am smart and creative. His goal is to turn those talents to serve his own pleasure and perverted needs. Precisely because he values me for my intelligence and talents, and frequently expresses his admiration even as he makes it clear that he is the one who controls the relationship, I find myself even more eager to serve and to obey. By building me up he is able to tear me down. It's a very curious dichotomy, but so far it has worked very well for him. He even coddles me in some way, calls me his treasure, spoils me, and protects me from the most extreme physical manifestations of his sadism (actually, from almost all physical manifestations of his sadism), but somehow this protection and respect just makes me even more submissive and has me offering myself as a sacrifice to his most debasing plans for me.
ReplyDeleteThe mind is a most extraordinary thing...
OG: Yes, I get that.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I love the notion of submission via writing, of being made to improve the writing. This is a major turn on for me and connects well with my academic self and my own personal desires.
Secondly, there is the dichotomy of being submissive via your brain and then being reduced to a girl with no brain. That is very, very sexy, too!
As I see it, you have the two elements in the sadist, so I think you are on a good thing and should stick with it! LOL Best wishes.