Energy flow

A good film director knows that as well as needing to display the central heart of a movie to the audience, he/she needs to look for that heart from moment to moment. The look he gives her, the way the camera follows her eyes, or the selection of the music for that scene can all influence the outcome; the way it is perceived by the viewer.

The same is true for a D/s relationship. At the heart of the relationship is a power exchange where one has the power and the other relinquishes it. Yet, the heart of the union is really in the moments; from moment to moment. Her response determines his next decision. He may decide at this moment, her happiness is more important than his power to have his own way. It is a fluid thing and the steps of the dance must be able to adjust according to the rythmn of the music of any particular situation, mood or outcome. Rather than being something rigid as it might appear to newbies, D/s demands that the participants be flexible of mind.

I think the only fatal mistake that the dominant can make in the submissive's mind is not to demonstrate his commitment. Like children who wants to know that above all things, they are the most important person in their parents' lives, so the submissive can become jaded of talk of the dom's busyness.

Many years ago, when I was a learning to speak French, a fellow student complained that she didn't have time to learn her vocabulary. Madame turned to the girl and said

"We make time for the things that we want to do."

And, so we do. If we want to do something, we do it. The choice is ours.

It is an easy 'out' for the dom to tell his submissive to be patient; that she will have an opportunity to shine "soon"; that connection ebbs and flows. He is fooling himself.

Ebb and flow is the energy felt from one person to another; moment by moment. It does not ebb and flow by itself. Rather, the energy is created by the contact of the two people; the electricity sparked between them.

The pendulum swings, and so it stands to reason that if you give enough energy, you will get some back. Something will eventually happen. Just like dialogue spoken by those in a movie, words are spoken between the dominant and his submissive. In those words are opportunities for the exchange of energy.

Let it never be forgotten. She is not called a 'submissive' for nothing; she wants to submit . Expecting her to make the first move just doesn't many any sense.

A dominant man must engage his submissive; not just regularly but with an energy that he is prepared to exchange with her. Once she has a spark, the connection will light up automatically. There will be no need to wait for any further "flow".

It takes so little to make the day of a submissive woman. She looks not for rubies and diamonds, but rather a steady flow of affection, in whatever form that takes.

One can work one's way to the grave, and for what?