I was in the train today, on my way to the city. I rarely get a chance to sit down with the paper these days, and noticing the newspaper on the seat in front of me, I picked it up. My daughter was beside me and we were going into the city to meet her brother, for a little celebration of sorts at a lovely Italian restaurant. We were both in fine clothes and all was well.
I scanned the paper, until I reached the obituary page. His face, so easily recognizable, stared at me. I became silent. It took a few moments for me to grasp that this was the moment I had been waiting for, for over five years. He was gone.
The last thing I wanted to do was to spoil my daughter's day and I did my best to appear completely natural; as if nothing had happened. I kept up the conversation whilst my mind tried to take in the news.
As the train sped on to the city and I looked out the window at the sun peeking through the clouds, the city that was his home, my mind rushed through the memories of him, as I've wondered if it might if one has only a minute or two to live.
Not one memory was of a cross word, or a difficult moment. All those memories had vanished. In their place, were memories of all the good, all the value of him to the world, and more specifically, to my life. He was a good man and he had loved me and understood me. Our connection was strong.
As I sit here alone, finally, and allow the tears to pour down my face, I recognize that it is finally time to let go of one of the most remarkable and poignant relationships of my life.
Alas, I never really did tell him what he meant to me; what he gave me; my feelings for him. I like to think that he knew, nevetheless. I certainly hope so.
So, in his honour, as the only thing that I have to give, I note today what he left me; left in me; his advice.
- Think noble thoughts and do noble deeds.
- Never be bitter; stay youthful and open to life.
- Be a participator in life; not just a spectator.
- Stay slim all your life; weight is aging.
- Do what you do best; write.
- Stay soft; loving.
- Forgive; for we all make mistakes.
- Share yourself.
- Care.
Farewell, my dear friend. I would not have missed knowing you for the world.
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Oh Vesta, I am so sorry to read of your loss. He certainly gave you a gift and one that you can forever cherish.
ReplyDeleteDon't be afraid of the tears and try not to deal with it all alone.
{{Hug}}
Vesta, I am so sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteDear Vesta,
ReplyDeleteyour friend was special to you. You will carry his memory in your heart.
Just take a moment and consider: to whom are you, Vesta, special?
Love and hugs, Clemmi
one measure of a life are the words spoken in death. By that measure your friend appears to have been a fine man.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry for your loss.
Vesta,
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to hear bout your loss.
Many people touch our lives and we forgot along the way. It is wonderful that you remember exactly what you gained from your relationship with him.
*hugs*
Laur, Aurore, Clemmi,Sir J and Gray:
ReplyDeleteThank you very much for leaving me such lovely messages. I do have the loveliest readers!
Death is a part of life, but, of course, I would have loved the opportunity to say my good byes.
Strangely, I've felt a spirit close by in the past few days. It has been 'carrying' me on and whilst I am sad, I feel strong. I'll be just fine.
Thank you, again.