Embracing change

It is no surprise that a big part of me has gone into raising my children. But, the time has come when I can begin to see the fruits of my labor. Whilst I still have a child in tertiary education and one in high school, my two eldest are fully grown. My eldest son told me last night that he has now been to all seven continents and he travels again in a week or so for another month, including back to the state in the US where he was raised. I can already hear him telling me how small the house looked this time around. A Cape Cod style, it was indeed small although incredibly functional and we loved it to bits.

My daughter, who has also had a few journeys of her own, most notably her art classes in Florence when she fell in love with Italy, leaves tonight to travel all around Europe. She hopes to settle in London and live there for an indefinite period of time. Whilst I find myself with mixed feelings, for I shall miss her more than I can say as will we all, she leaves at my suggestion. My plan and my husband's plan right from the outset was to produce children who were savvy in the world, who embraced the world and its opportunities and who were independent enough to want to leave home and travel the world. We feel enormous pride in them for they are not only beautiful people on the outside but beautiful within, with a deep sense of care and respect for the family, their friends and all people with whom they come in contact. They are good people.

I'm not left alone. I accompanied my third child for his learner driver permit this past week and experienced his delight when he passed. For some reason or other, he has had a 'thing' about driving but we patiently waited and eventually he made the appointment himself. His quirkiness is challenging but his company always fun. And, my youngest son is the cuddliest and most lovable child you will ever met. Without his darling sister, his Mum will have her work cut out to give double the cuddles in an effort to fill the gaping hole in his life. No; not alone at all.

Yet, the door is well and truly open now for me to recognize and embrace that life has moved on to a new stage and so must I. The past year has been incredibly exciting,exhilarating and transforming and I hope it goes on that way. There are still secrets about me to unfold; secrets that I have kept even from myself and I look forward to the unfolding of them. I am not just a little bit kinky, I've discovered. I'm not at all ashamed of that any more. In fact, I am in a very happy place about that and when I get a chance to consider recent experiences, I'll put my thoughts down here.

I haven't been a person to fully accept the value of discipline in life. So, it is interesting to me that at this time I find myself revelling in the acceptance of disciplines into my life - of being expected to do certain things in a week; to wait for my treats, for example. I had no idea it could be this easy for me to accept discipline imposed. And, in the same way, perhaps it is time for me to embrace my desire to write - not in some haphazard way such as 'maybe I will and maybe I won't today' - but as in, here is what is expected for the week.

It is all part of a mindfulness that I look to bring into my life - to enjoy the present and to make the most of the present and to meet goals set for myself. Just don't expect me to stay dry eyed at the airport this evening.