Being my best

It made me smile to read the article Beware of These 10 Habit Loopholes as You Head to the Thanksgiving Feast because this is a big part of what my mentoring relationship is about, holding my feet to the fire, ensuring that I stick with my goals and not make silly excuses.

In essence,  a good eating plan will enable you lose weight quite easily. It's almost painless to lose weight so long as you make healthy choices and avoid all the empty calories such as cake and chocolate. It's not a fast way to lose weight, for me, but it is an effective and healthy way to lose weight without much pain.

Of course, we all enjoy our little indulgences and there are so many reasons we give ourselves to indulge. 'Tomorrow I'll be good', or 'But, it's a gluten free cookie'. Number 4 in the article, the 'lack of control' loophole made me wince because I used that excuse recently to no good effect. I received absolutely no sympathy whatsoever and the repercussions made it clear that it would be unwise to ever use it again. He works on the model that in this matter he has to be cruel to be kind, and over time, I came to see that he was right. I was using a bunch of loopholes in my thinking to justify my poor choices which kept me unable to lose the 4 kilos I wanted to lose.

When I stand on the scales and see the number slowly reducing over time, I am reminded that my thought processes have gradually adjusted to take account of good choices he insists I make. I haven't managed to get through a week without using up my sweets allowance (meagre as it is) but I have managed to stay within the allowance and that is a good thing.

Our habits do tend to define us. We drink a soda perhaps and think nothing of it. Yet, the evidence is in that being a soda drinker is as dangerous to one's health as being a smoker. Coca Cola won't tell you this and nor will the supermarkets who sell it to you. It's absolutely frightening how huge the sale of soft drinks is in Australia and I would take a guess it is worse in the United States. Unless we stop and think about what we do we are just pawns in their game. Soft drink is like drinking poison. It will take years off your life expectancy.

The mentoring process over the past few months has been a huge wake up call for me as I begin to see how mentoring, or shall we call it 'the dominant taking a stand to assist the submissive with her goals plan' can be incredibly effective. Not only can this relationship be applied to healthy food choices but could in effect be used to assist her (or him) with just about any other goal.

I rarely get to bed on time and thus often don't get enough sleep, and I can't seem to establish an effective daily writing plan which really irks me and holds me back from achieving my goals. I begin to see how profound it would be in my life to have someone devise rules for me to which I must abide. I've tended to think of myself as a relatively/reasonably disciplined person and yet I am beginning to see that there is a great deal of untapped potential in my day(s). I've considered much of my submissive mindset from an erotic perspective, but if I am honest I have to admit that I would respond to dominance in many other ways as well.

My mentor is strict but he knows he has to be strict, with me at least. I've been grumpy at times with the lengths to which he will go to ensure my co-operation but I have come to see that he has been altering my patterns, using his control to shift my thinking to a more effective path. It hasn't been easy to admit that I need some assistance with my daily life but it is crystal clear that I do well with a boss, and a strict boss at that.

Embracing change

It is no surprise that a big part of me has gone into raising my children. But, the time has come when I can begin to see the fruits of my labor. Whilst I still have a child in tertiary education and one in high school, my two eldest are fully grown. My eldest son told me last night that he has now been to all seven continents and he travels again in a week or so for another month, including back to the state in the US where he was raised. I can already hear him telling me how small the house looked this time around. A Cape Cod style, it was indeed small although incredibly functional and we loved it to bits.

My daughter, who has also had a few journeys of her own, most notably her art classes in Florence when she fell in love with Italy, leaves tonight to travel all around Europe. She hopes to settle in London and live there for an indefinite period of time. Whilst I find myself with mixed feelings, for I shall miss her more than I can say as will we all, she leaves at my suggestion. My plan and my husband's plan right from the outset was to produce children who were savvy in the world, who embraced the world and its opportunities and who were independent enough to want to leave home and travel the world. We feel enormous pride in them for they are not only beautiful people on the outside but beautiful within, with a deep sense of care and respect for the family, their friends and all people with whom they come in contact. They are good people.

I'm not left alone. I accompanied my third child for his learner driver permit this past week and experienced his delight when he passed. For some reason or other, he has had a 'thing' about driving but we patiently waited and eventually he made the appointment himself. His quirkiness is challenging but his company always fun. And, my youngest son is the cuddliest and most lovable child you will ever met. Without his darling sister, his Mum will have her work cut out to give double the cuddles in an effort to fill the gaping hole in his life. No; not alone at all.

Yet, the door is well and truly open now for me to recognize and embrace that life has moved on to a new stage and so must I. The past year has been incredibly exciting,exhilarating and transforming and I hope it goes on that way. There are still secrets about me to unfold; secrets that I have kept even from myself and I look forward to the unfolding of them. I am not just a little bit kinky, I've discovered. I'm not at all ashamed of that any more. In fact, I am in a very happy place about that and when I get a chance to consider recent experiences, I'll put my thoughts down here.

I haven't been a person to fully accept the value of discipline in life. So, it is interesting to me that at this time I find myself revelling in the acceptance of disciplines into my life - of being expected to do certain things in a week; to wait for my treats, for example. I had no idea it could be this easy for me to accept discipline imposed. And, in the same way, perhaps it is time for me to embrace my desire to write - not in some haphazard way such as 'maybe I will and maybe I won't today' - but as in, here is what is expected for the week.

It is all part of a mindfulness that I look to bring into my life - to enjoy the present and to make the most of the present and to meet goals set for myself. Just don't expect me to stay dry eyed at the airport this evening.