Training - back to basics

Controversially, in my discussions with dominant men over time, I personally, and submissive women generally, have been compared to dogs; the training, keeping and owning of dogs as pets. I have an open mind, a good sense of humour and an interest in comparing one thing with another in the light of learning more, and I have enjoyed and benefitted from those discussions.

Some readers may recall that I have two little puppies and it is not lost on me that they need training, order and discipline in their lives if we are to live in harmony, peace and order. Whilst there were days when I was so mad with them I got the children to give them their dinner rather than be seen to reward them for such atrocious behaviour, some semblance of order now reigns at my home in the city. For one thing, my husband established himself as ‘top dog’ and they get that point now, loud and clear. Things were going along well - until my mother arrived.

My mother has always had a very strong connection with dogs. Her dogs live lives of luxury and she rotates her life around them. Their comfort and wants and needs are all well under control living with my mother; the best beds and blankets and food and warmth and so on. Of course, I concur with taking very good care of a pet but I don’t condone allowing a dog (or dogs in this case) to rule my life.

Thus it is that this submissive girl has just made a line in the sand. My little dogs have just been put outside on their leads attached to a long rope, where they not may pee in my house, may not run about the open garden where we currently are in the country to wander onto the road, may not choose to come to us only when it pleases them. They will stay on their leads until it suits us (and not them) to take them for a long and fun walk off their leads where it is safe for them and they will learn to come inside when they are called. I am insisting after several days of high disorder that they accept that they are to do the right thing whether my mother and her naughty dog is here or not.

A dominant friend of mine, clever man that he is, said to me recently that he didn’t believe all my talk that I was an ineffectual mother, unable to rule my roost. I giggled, for he is exactly right. I am incredibly good to my children but woe betides them when they behave in obnoxious and downright upsetting ways. They know what is right and what is wrong, just as my puppies know too, and I won’t be taken advantage of, just because I have a submissive nature.

It is no co-incidence that I married the man I married. He calls a spade a spade and he always has done so. He has standards and no child, so far, has been willing to take him on in any major way. He’s the boss and we adhere to his high standards of behaviour. If he were here, those naughty puppies would never have behaved so disgracefully and taken such advantage of my kind mother. They would have accepted that the boss was home and they would do what is right. This is what upsets me so; that they can take such advantage of sensitive souls.

Over the years when we were bringing up the children, children with strong minds and strong opinions, I found myself saying over and over to my husband, “I can’t believe that they would treat me so.” I often thought that my deep, deep love for them should be enough for them to behave themselves.

“Oh darling, it doesn’t work like that,” my husband would explain to his teary wife. “They are children! They don’t look at it that way. You need to set rules and have structure and you have to tell them what you expect.”

I am not sure that today is the day to compare such raising of children and dogs with the development of a submissive girl. (Can you tell I am a bit emotional?) Would a submissive girl take advantage of a man who was too soft? Does a submissive girl need some guidelines as to how to behave? Such dangerous territory this!