What we do

What I do is so clear to me that it is possible that I don’t make it clear enough to others. Having a loving, open and ‘willing to experiment’ husband as I do, it may not make sense that I also have a dominant male friend on line who is my mentor. If it doesn’t make sense to you, there is precious little I can do about it. All I care to say really is that the situation comes with my owner’s total consent. He learned a few years ago now that I could learn more about some things from other people than I could from him. That is not to say that the advice differs in any fundamental way. But, hearing it from another dominant man, I make the connection of the wisdom in a way that I would not without him in my life.

I may have mentioned before, I really can’t remember, of the time when I learned to ski. I was beyond scared; totally freaked out. Unable to make much progress in a class of women also learning to ski in their middle years, my ‘white knight’ arrived on a set of skis and told the instructor he would work with me alone. Bit by bit, he gave me confidence and by the end of the lesson, I was skiing; sort of. I was so grateful I felt a special bond with him and I asked him, “Did you teach your wife to ski?” He responded, “Do I look silly? No, I gave that job to another man.”

So it is with me and submission. My husband is grateful for the help, not to mention that he enjoys the benefits. It is a win: win situation as far as he is concerned. Both happily married, my mentor and I know our limits and never cross them.

I take this opportunity to express my personal gratitude, both to my husband, who gives me much more than most husbands would, and to my mentor for whom I have a great deal of respect. I have a submissive nature, yes, but I’m no walk in the park, either, and he works hard at his role (and hopefully with a sense of pleasure, too). Perhaps, my saving grace is that I am incredibly committed to my goals. I have a deep sense of wanting to pursue this and the further I go, the more I feel nourished, whole and complete.

My mentor has the great attribute of being willing to listen to the responses to his questions very carefully and from that he seems to understand very well what it is I want and need. I think he has a much better handle on what I want than I do. I am really quite unable to articulate what that is until he tells me. Ah ha! The light goes on. Yes, it may look like I want to hold onto some control but I really don’t. How did he know that? I’m a very lucky girl to work with him. I admire him greatly, trust him implicitly and hope that we may always be in each other’s lives, in some capacity.

In the next post, I will share the latest wonderful development; the next layer of the onion being peeled. I’m excited; a bit apprehensive and resistant, but confident (and happy) that there is no turning back. I revel in being taking up a notch and consequently brought down to size. It is serious stuff, yes, but on the other hand, I can’t deny that I am having the time of my life. As I become less, I become more; more happy; more enlightened.

I do want to write about all my emotions and feelings of this week soon, but first of all, I want to make clear the lay of the land. You won’t find two marriages that are stronger and our mentoring relationship only serves to strengthen that fact. I do not write this post because I require the reader’s approval. I have the only approval I require; that of my owner. But, I also did not want to lead you astray.

What we do: it is a good thing.