Wednesday, February 3, 2010

The ON switch

I consider myself one of the fortunate women to be able to state with conviction that I am a happily married woman. To be loved completely and to love completely means more to me than anything else. So, let that be clear as I try to get down my current thoughts...

I take great pride in my ability to face adverse situations with a sense of calm and focus now. Once, I would have wanted to interfere; to try to persuade my husband of my opinion; to feel that I needed to convince him of the risks of his decision making. I would have felt anger and probably expressed it if he disregarded my opinion only to make a serious error with ongoing repercussions. I have been to that place and it is not pretty.

So, in the current environment where other people have caused mischief I am proud to say that I have been totally supportive and hopefully he would agree that this time I have been his rock. I have not complained or even expressed my needs as he has worked through the nights to prepare for meetings. I have done what I could for him, wherever and whenever I could. I have kept him well fed; even quietly encouraged him to go to the gym for his own sake until I think he went for my sake, so worried was I about his health. Hopefully, the assessment could be made that I have done everything that I could to be a good doll.

Quietly, I have gone about my life, doing the tasks necessary and keeping the family going along smoothly. But, between you and me, it’s pretty hard on a doll. Yes, dollies need to wait on the shelf sometimes but after a while, they do get dusty and they do get a bit despondent. A doll needs attention and without it for long periods of time, she just isn’t quite herself. This situation has not lasted a day, a week or a month, but six months and there are times when the doll no longer feels like a doll at all.

It is no secret that the doll has been trained to be an ‘anal slut’. She wears her pluggi regularly and surprisingly enough the moment she does, she feels gr8. It is as if, she thinks, there is an invisible wire connected from her ass cunt to her brain which relaxes her, settles her and allows her to cope with the time on the shelf so much better. She often wears it to bed, around the house, or when she does the errands.

She has, at times, misunderstood the importance of pluggi in her life and been so low that she can look at him and know what he could do for her, yet feel powerless to act. Dolls can think, yes, but slowly and it took a while for the message to sink into the doll’s mind in such a way that she would never doubt again.

On Monday evening, she wore pluggi to bed and felt complete. Her mentor had talked about pluggi being the “bimbo ON switch” and this reeli resonated with the doll. On Tuesday morning, she took pluggi out and washed him and went to her class at the gym alone. On the completion of the class, she lay down on the mat for ‘relaxation time’. Generally, her mind settled with the stray thought drifting in and out. But, this day her mind was focussed on pluggi and the way she had felt in her bed; the objet that she was with pluggi; being yoosed, filled; alweyz open. It was the only thought in her mind and she felt very content on her mat. She thought of herself as the object that she was and she was happy in that thought.

She squeezed her ass cunt. But... there was nothing there. Pluggi was nut there. The doll felt an abiding sense of loss; as if she had misplaced a precious object or been deserted in some way. She felt alone and lonely.

In that moment, the lessons she had learned these past months fell into place. Putting in pluggi every day was nut something that she did coz she was asked 2 do it and knew she should obey. Putting in pluggi every day was sumthin she shood do coz it was gud 4 her; rite 4 her; comforted her and completed her.

The doll looked 4ward 2 the day when her onnir would take her off the shelf and pley wif her in meni wayz. But, she could manage. She wood make it through. Her onnir may nut b available 4 her but when onnir is nut available, pluggi is da boss! It was only when she had showered and reunited with pluggi that she felt trooli happi again.

When her onnir came home that evening, the doll was present. After dinner, he came to his doll and kissed her on her forehead and sed:

“Thank you for being such a good doll. It will be over soon.”

The doll was happy. She was doing gr8.

3 comments:

  1. Vesta,

    it is so good to see you comfortably settled in the place you belong.

    i wonder... if this thing had an OFF switch, would you want to use it? (the switch i mean)

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  2. cassie: I don't believe I would, no! LOL

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  3. Thought so! Good for you girl!

    cassie

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