Not just a fantasy

One of the best parts of the mentoring process for this girl is that she has coped so much better than she ever did before with stressful and worrying situations. She is a much more relaxed person. But, this weekend she was tested as her household experienced an enormous amount of stress. Her husband and she are decent people and wish no one any harm. But, when they see wrongdoing such as became evident to them in the past few days, they needed to take action immediately. Again, they are subjected to the instincts of others to do whatever it takes to procure a pot of gold.

First of all, the thinking girl had to suppress her anger. It takes a lot of energy to be angry and knowing that, she had to put it aside. Nor was her sense of sadness of any use to them at all. Yes, people calling themselves “friends”, promising to work together had been disloyal, manipulative and dishonest but her sadness was also sapping the energy required to respond to these events.

In their individual shock and despair, her husband and she separated for a time; he to his study and she to regain her composure and focus. She thought about her training. What would the doll do in such a situation? Being of service, sexually speaking was out of the question. Time was of the essence and the task required all their adrenaline to be put towards stopping these cheats.

She took a deep breath, made a cup of tea and brought it to her husband. They hugged and chatted briefly. He had no choice, he said. His responsibilities required him to act. She said she understood. These past few intense months where he worked on the project day and night, robbing them of time together may be for nothing, but in spite of that it was his responsibility to do what he must do. She said she understood and she did.

As a submissive woman, she is asked to quieten her ego; to even become ego-less. Cindi is ego-less. She has nothing to prove and she has no negative states. She is always relaxed; always happy; always wanting to please. She is a thing of beauty; perhaps an angel on earth. She is good. It was to cindi’s goodness that she would aspire. The girl was clear as to how to respond and in their shared focus, the girl and her husband were reconnected.

This morning, alone in the house for a short time, she put on some music that might allow her to relax whilst she did some housework and these lyrics popped out at her: “...hoping to find some peace of mind...not just a fantasy...”

Cindi is not just a fantasy in the girl’s world. Cindi has a real place in her heart, her mind and her soul as she reaches out for peace of mind. She lives not just in the girl’s bedroom but in her psyche; in her every day.

It is true that in her egoless state Cindi is not a thinking doll. Dolls do not think. Nor does the doll have a burning desire to write. The girl knows this; acknowledges the contradiction. Yet, since the day she could hold a pen, she has put words to paper in her efforts to make sense of the world.

This morning she has given in to her instincts to do what is right for her at this time and recommence writing on this blog. Is it her ego talking? Perhaps; she is far from perfect. Yet, she derives comfort in her return here, having searched her mind for the motive in doing so. She requires no kudos or praise. She returns to write for the best reason of all: for herself. A little company along the way shoud do no harm and is appreciated.