I was having a brief conversation with a friend today when I said something of which he clearly didn’t approve. Instantaneously, he replied, “You are precious, Vesta.” (Well, he used my real name, but you get the idea, no doubt.) I immediately took offense. I’m over it now (almost!) but it set me back, I must say.
It also moved me forward. I sort of, took it in first. I considered it the greatest of disparagements and I was absolutely speechless (or fingerless in this case). I walked out into the garden. It is a day direct from Heaven today and I allowed the mild sun to warm me and the breeze to blow through my hair and onto my tear stained face.
You see, I know he didn’t mean that I was ‘of great worth’. What he meant was that I was showing precious little backbone; ‘excessively delicate’ as the dictionary says. That is what he meant.
And, be damned, he was right! I had got upset about something which is minor in the scheme of things. The sun still shines, the world still spins, my family are all healthy and I am loved. My issue was nothing at all in comparison to the difficulties of so many others. It was upsetting and destabilising, yes, but hardly insurmountable. I have climbed much bigger mountains that this and found rainbows on the other side of the rock, so what was all this fuss about?
Perhaps, I had fallen into the trap of thinking of myself as a submissive woman; needy and well...precious. Well, to hell with that! So, I took myself off for a shower, put on a going out shirt and shirt, did my hair and makeup and I’m ready to stand up like a big girl and be counted; not down for the count at all.I am strong; I am invincible!! Well, with a little help from my “onnir” that is. I never said and never will say that I’m perfect.
So, my friend, I’ve taken your comment on board. I was cross at first, yes. But, know this: it was what got me back on track, too!
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I think I would have had the same initial response to that. But it takes a lot to own up to the fact that they might be right. And to do something about it! :)
ReplyDeleteGray: Bless you. When I told my husband he was in complete agreement with my friend, making it all the more important, I think, that we subs stick together!
ReplyDelete> Perhaps, I had fallen into the trap of thinking of myself as
ReplyDelete> a submissive woman; needy and well...precious. Well,
> to hell with that!
Very well put.
PL: Wellllll, there are some dependency issues for submissive women, I suppose. The thing is when well supported by the dominant, there is not much we can't do. When the dominant stops dominating, that's a time when we can appear a touch pathetic. The service he provides is what keeps the gal humming along...
ReplyDeletesometimes I struggle with the nuances of the English language so I checked. According to dictionary.com precious means:
ReplyDelete–noun
6. a dearly beloved person; darling.
... that's my story and I am sticking to it.
Sir J: Yes, Sir. J. No, Sir J. Three bags full, Sir J. (smiles)
ReplyDelete