Last night, I had a dream about getting a spanking. This is a very rare event. Unlike Abel who has regular dreams about giving spankings, I don't, alas, dream about getting a spanking except on very rare nights.
I was living with another family. There was a dream before that dream where I was with a boy, a disabled boy who I think belonged to this family. I was very close to him and putting two and two together, somehow or other I was a part of their family. Maybe, they'd adopted me or maybe I was an exchange student. I really don't know.
Anyways, clearly I'd done something naughty and the father was not at all happy with me. I seemed to know that I was going to get a spanking. I was waiting in the living room area of their house and I felt a sense of expectation about it. Maybe, I should have had a sense of foreboding about it but I don't recall that; just a knowledge that at any time he could call me for my punishment. I was completely accepting although I had no idea what a spanking would be like. I am clear on that. I felt curious as much as I felt worried. I was fairly certain it was going to hurt quite a bit. I figured that if someone was going to punish you by putting you over their knee, they were going to make sure it was memorable and motivated a person to never do that thing again. But, I didn't know for sure.
He came into the room and he said to me, "Let's get this over with. Into my study."
I got up immediately and walked into the study. I was ready to do exactly as told but at that moment he remembered that he'd left the hair brush in another part of the house. I was disappointed that we couldn't get on with the discipline. I had this sense that punishment was a good thing because once I got what I deserved I'd be able to be forgiven and to move on with a clean slate. I distinctly remember wanting that spanking so that I could be punished and be done with the sense that I was "in trouble" and in the bad books. There would be no pleading for leniency from me. I wanted that hiding.
And, then...the dream ended. I never did get my spanking. I never did get a chance for the father to tell me that I had been forgiven and that he expected me from now on to obey his rules and that he felt sure that I was a good girl who simply needed to be reminded that it was my place to do as I was told.
I am still awfully disappointed about it. I can't understand at all why my subconscious would derail me in this way and not allow me the correction I so sorely needed. And, it's not the first time I've been taken up to the moment of a good thrashing in my dreams only to be let off the hook by waking up. It's absolutely not fair!
I know it is cruel to laugh, but even so. That last paragraph has amused me a great deal. My own little girl of course has marked limitations on what she is, or is not, allowed to do. It amuses me that perhaps in her own dreams she still doesn't get her own way. I shall have to ask.
ReplyDeleteAnon: It will be interesting. Over my life, I've had these types of dreams and I can feel myself thinking, "Oh, thank goodness, a spanking dream and this time I think the man really means business." But, then something goes awry. From time to time, I have got the spanking but it didn't hurt, which was such a disappointment.
ReplyDeleteTell me, if you would be so kind, do you feel that if you were more firmly treated in reality, you would still have these dreams?
ReplyDeleteAnon: It's terribly hard to be sure but I'd say if I were treated more firmly, probably not. The dreams started early in my life when my curiosity was sky high. I hadn't thought about this before your question but I'd say that the dreams happen when I have a strong desire to be treated firmly. Certainly, when I had that dream, this was the case. Probably, the dreams would vanish with firmer treatment, yes.
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