Desire to immerse myself in the mindset of the slutty, nut 2 smert, mindless, dumdum l'il bimbo has absolutely no relation to my ability to run my own life. In fact, the more capable I feel in the big, wide world, the more I long to be taken to that fucktoy, in-need-of-control space.
I can be going along, minding my own business, ripping through the to-do list and a host of chores when it comes over me like a wave. It goes like this...
One minute: God, this day is going well. Look at all that I have achieved so far. I am on a roll. Just about all my ducks are in a row.
Next minute: So, who cares anyway. It is mildly pleasing, but is this all there is? It's not giving me the satisfaction in life I crave. What I really desire is to feel little, helpless and unable to move without somebody giving me a direction. I want to feel the containment and I want to feel my body on fire too. Achievement is nice but it's not thrilling.
Of course, I am intimately aware of the fact that the more time I spend in that space, the more the bimbo switch is on, the more submissive I feel, the more desire I have to retreat into that mindless, ultra turned on space. My relationship with my body is very different here and my mind/body connection is very connected here. I'm a dumdum fucktoy and nothing feels as good as that.
For a girl who likes to use her brain, I am here to say that nothing ever feels as good as the days when I lose my brain. Oh dear! Where did it go?
I can be going along, minding my own business, ripping through the to-do list and a host of chores when it comes over me like a wave. It goes like this...
One minute: God, this day is going well. Look at all that I have achieved so far. I am on a roll. Just about all my ducks are in a row.
Next minute: So, who cares anyway. It is mildly pleasing, but is this all there is? It's not giving me the satisfaction in life I crave. What I really desire is to feel little, helpless and unable to move without somebody giving me a direction. I want to feel the containment and I want to feel my body on fire too. Achievement is nice but it's not thrilling.
Of course, I am intimately aware of the fact that the more time I spend in that space, the more the bimbo switch is on, the more submissive I feel, the more desire I have to retreat into that mindless, ultra turned on space. My relationship with my body is very different here and my mind/body connection is very connected here. I'm a dumdum fucktoy and nothing feels as good as that.
For a girl who likes to use her brain, I am here to say that nothing ever feels as good as the days when I lose my brain. Oh dear! Where did it go?
Vesta,
ReplyDeleteFunny how those kinds of thoughts just creep up on ya!
Hugs,
mouse
mouse: Oh hello there. Good to see you back. I very much need to express that part of me, mouse. If I don't I feel like I am wearing a straight jacket, and not in a good way. It keeps me happy to have those objectifying experiences and thoughts.
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