Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Abandonment, again

When my youngest son came home from school I suggested we watch Good Will Hunting together. He'd been asked to be Will in a drama scene recently and was really curious about the character and the film. I had bought it years ago and so down we sat to watch this fabulous movie.

In my previous post, Rollymo mentioned abandonment in his comment and it is a theme that I play around with a bit because I know that I'm inclined to feel abandoned at times. Possibly, that's my dramatic nature at work.

Of course, Will suffers from fear of abandonment, He's an orphan and his foster father was a mean, cruel and violent man. Sean Macguire (Robin Williams) who plays his therapist may not be as brilliant as Will but he knows how to get around Will and we learn through him that Will rejects people before they reject him. He fears more abandonment in his life.

"It's not your fault."

"I know."

"It's not your fault."

"I know."

"It's not your fault."

"I know."

"It's not your fault."

"Don't fuck with me Sean, not you."

(as Sean walks, inch by inch, closer and closer to Will)

"It's not your fault."

And, Will, hearing these words and finally registering them, collapses into his arms and sobs.

(I've not lost sight of the fact Rollymo, that when I felt abandoned you said exactly those words to me!)

Sean teaches Will to trust him and he teaches Will to trust himself. He needs to do what is right for him. Chuckie, his best friend,  (Ben Afflick) gives him permission to get on with his life when he tells him to go and live the life he was meant to live, "for me". They'd all give their right arm to have Will's mind and it would be insulting them if he didn't go and do that, he says.

Of course, what Will needs more than anything is love and we're completely satisfied when we learn that he had to go "see about a girl".  We feel certain that Skylar (Minnie Driver) is able to give him the unconditional love he needs to thrive.

At the final session with Sean, Will hugs Sean and says "Thank you" and Sean replies, "Thank you". They have healed one another.  The circle is closed. We, as an audience are deeply satisfied on every level; an absolutely brilliant script there.

The issue of abandonment is not really my issue but our issue. We all, at various stages of life, can feel abandoned. and it can make us closed to potential opportunities. Perhaps it is best, we think, if we walk away first to avoid the pain of being abandoned, or we just don't make the connection in the first place and thus we can be assured of not being rejected or abandoned again.  It's scary, I know this, but we must forge connections. It is what human beings are designed to do.

I'm not entirely sure that we have endless opportunities to connect with other people.  Real connections are relatively rare but when they do occur they must be nurtured; one can afford to take the risk of pushing forward and getting closer because nothing sustains the spirit quite like recognition of human frailty and efforts made to reach out. 

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