Force - expansion and contraction

For a woman like me who for the past quarter of a century knew she must run fast to keep up with her brood, I am in a transitional stage of my life. These days, I am most likely to communicate with my two older children through technology rather than face to face. My son called yesterday on his mobile phone from Atlanta. His flight to New York had been delayed and there he was in the middle of the night with no one to talk to but his associate who was not a big talker at the best of times. Then this morning I finally got an email from my daughter travelling about Europe. They had decided to flee Italy, she and her friend, finding those Italian boys a "bit much". Anyways, they love Spain, she said, and that was no surprise to me.

My third child is hardly a chore these days. He asks for the odd lift with thirty seconds notice, and he isn't exactly tidy, but he can whip up a meal for himself and is a most independent soul. My last chick insists on his independence. His homework is entirely his domain. Yes, he sorts me out, letting me know when he needs various sports equipment or when to attend which concert; that sort of thing. But, he is no trouble whatsoever. In fact, he is a joy and I relish these last few years of his school life.

I didn't go the career route, as regular readers would know and it is too late, I think, to suddenly announce that I'm going to teach after all, or go do a course as a therapist or coach, or whatever. I can't imagine my husband finding that route appealing. He doesn't ever plan to retire himself. He has too much energy to do that. But, he does envision us travelling much more; sailing or fishing perhaps with more regularity. I like the sound of that too.

In the interim, I've taken my energies to the concept of reduction. I'm reducing the contents of the house for one thing. No surface or cupboard is to be left untouched as I reduce our lives down to what we need and no more. I am loving this. Since she is away right now, I began with my daughter's room. It began looking like a bomb site and has been transformed to quite a pleasant room that a visitor could actually inhabit. My desk has been sorted and I finally feel that it is tidy enough that I can write with a clear mind. I've been through my husband's cupboard and out went three suits that hadn't seen light in a decade. I've continued to reduce my own stocks of clothing and even the laundry is getting an overall. This is a wonderfully cleansing experience.

Another area for reduction is my body. Through the menopausal period my body put on a few unwanted kilos and now is the time to take them off. Gym time has increased and sugar has been more or less banned from my life. I never thought I could give up Turkish Delights but I haven't had one for weeks and weeks and don't even feel tempted. The reducing of my body isn't happening fast but it is happening and I'm very pleased about that.

Meanwhile, as my mind kicks into a new gear with the thought that I finally have freedom to do more of the things I would like to do with my life ( an increase in opportunity), my mind also seeks to reduce further. I'm relishing this time when I am my husband's good, little girl exhibiting all the virtues; ever ready to be reduced to nothing more than a play thing.

My world expands. My world contracts.

My understanding of scientific concepts is not a strength but this statement made sense to me:

"The differences in expansion and contraction are even more visible in different states, again due to the amount of force holding the atoms together."

The kind of contraction in my life that I am interested in does require some force; some dominant force. Without that, I can't contract in the ways I would like to. And, maybe I can't even expand in the ways that I would like to, without some dominant force, either. I embrace force that enables me to be all that I wish to be.

Force, pressure, insistence, demands, requirements, domination, standards, encouragement; call it what you will. I embrace the opportunity to alter - to expand and contract - and welcome the alterations that lie ahead.