I read a few blogs this morning whilst having my breakfast. There were some lovely entries around the topic of the bottom sliding into that relaxed, 'no-thinki' state of mind and the top taking that opportunity to either ask questions that might reveal more about her state of mind or push that state into an even more erotic zone.
It's to that relaxed 'no-thinki' state that I go when using larger anal plugs. It's containing, calming and settling to be sure but as well, it's very erotic and it is a space in the mind where virtually all inhibitions are removed.
In that state, I can be asked a lot of questions. The answers are the type of answers I'm not likely to give at any other time and on the very odd occasion, I have been censured for my responses. It's all very well to get the girl to be open to anything, but when she reveals just how slutty her mind is capable of being, there can be a slight concern there in a man's mind, I think. Rather marvellous to have the girl so free to express herself but slightly daunting to realize that women really can conjure scenes of gang bangs and going to dark caves and being aroused by a man's body; potentially any man's body, not just his body. Rather disconcerting indeed to realize that a woman's brain may imagine that not all scenarios have him in them but rather a faceless stranger.
Even in this state, a woman hears the rebuke in the words and she quickly pulls back. Perhaps it is best to hold onto thoughts for herself, she thinks; to hold something back...
And yet the allure of being in the company of a woman with all her defenses down is quite irresistible and intoxicating for some men, it seems to me. There's no business suit and appointment book here; no pretty lingerie behind which she can pretend she is the perfect angel. The slut is revealed. Her mind is about pure pleasure; having her body used and then used again. Bring it on. See who outdoes who.
When she returns to her everyday state of mind and he has the opportunity to consider what she has revealed, I have to think his mind goes to all and any ways to make her his. Men talking of enjoying the marks they make because it is one more opportunity to say, "See those marks. Only I can make those marks. No other man would dare to touch this woman when he sees that I left those marks on her." She's mine, he says to himself.
The silly thing is that a woman like me is likely to reveal herself in this way to no more than one, perhaps two and possibly three men in her lifetime. I'd take a guess that the vast majority of women leave this earth having told no-one about the details of their inner life. It's a huge compliment to be trusted in this way by a woman and take it from me, no matter how many gang bangs she can conjure in her mind, it is in her mind (and not down at the local football club) that those thoughts will stay.
It's to that relaxed 'no-thinki' state that I go when using larger anal plugs. It's containing, calming and settling to be sure but as well, it's very erotic and it is a space in the mind where virtually all inhibitions are removed.
In that state, I can be asked a lot of questions. The answers are the type of answers I'm not likely to give at any other time and on the very odd occasion, I have been censured for my responses. It's all very well to get the girl to be open to anything, but when she reveals just how slutty her mind is capable of being, there can be a slight concern there in a man's mind, I think. Rather marvellous to have the girl so free to express herself but slightly daunting to realize that women really can conjure scenes of gang bangs and going to dark caves and being aroused by a man's body; potentially any man's body, not just his body. Rather disconcerting indeed to realize that a woman's brain may imagine that not all scenarios have him in them but rather a faceless stranger.
Even in this state, a woman hears the rebuke in the words and she quickly pulls back. Perhaps it is best to hold onto thoughts for herself, she thinks; to hold something back...
And yet the allure of being in the company of a woman with all her defenses down is quite irresistible and intoxicating for some men, it seems to me. There's no business suit and appointment book here; no pretty lingerie behind which she can pretend she is the perfect angel. The slut is revealed. Her mind is about pure pleasure; having her body used and then used again. Bring it on. See who outdoes who.
When she returns to her everyday state of mind and he has the opportunity to consider what she has revealed, I have to think his mind goes to all and any ways to make her his. Men talking of enjoying the marks they make because it is one more opportunity to say, "See those marks. Only I can make those marks. No other man would dare to touch this woman when he sees that I left those marks on her." She's mine, he says to himself.
The silly thing is that a woman like me is likely to reveal herself in this way to no more than one, perhaps two and possibly three men in her lifetime. I'd take a guess that the vast majority of women leave this earth having told no-one about the details of their inner life. It's a huge compliment to be trusted in this way by a woman and take it from me, no matter how many gang bangs she can conjure in her mind, it is in her mind (and not down at the local football club) that those thoughts will stay.
I agree, Vesta, that we male Tops definitely desire for our women to reveal themselves as you describe. It's a wonderful feeling to so intoxicate one's partner with lust and excitement that they'll open their mind to you.
ReplyDeleteIs it possible we'll find out more than we really want to know? Certainly anything's possible, but I have yet to discover anything that causes me to truly draw back as you describe. Perhaps it depends somewhat on how accepting and adaptive the Dom can be.
I agree with you Vesta, I am not sure that my Dom would like to hear all those fantasies, which is exactly what they are, fantasies. I may think about it but I would never truly want anybody else to cause me the pain I crave for him to.
ReplyDeleteDominant males are by nature confident in themselves, therefore it follows that revelations should hold no fear for them. The less confident a man is the less trust and the more discomfort he is likely to feel and display.
ReplyDeleteJake: Well, that's nice to hear. Think about 'Eyes Wide Shut' for a moment and remember what Nicole's character's revelations did to Tom Cruise's character. He was totally freaked out! I think women have an innate antennae for this sort of reaction. There is just something that makes us feel it is best to hold back. I could be entirely off base here, but I think that's what we do. I think that men do it too, by the way. Women may not react at all well to hearing about the myriad of thoughts that go through your heads. I see this hold back as perfectly natural. Of course, what it means is that when we are given the opportunity to reveal all it's incredibly poignant and highly valued.
ReplyDeletedancingbarez: So you know what I mean? I think we have to take into consideration what power/positive and negatives effects our revelations may have, yes.
Anon: I concede your point. Less confident men may feel that a women's revelations means she is 'loose' perhaps, or perhaps that he can't hope to service those thoughts. All sorts of crazy thoughts may fleet through his head and I speculate that virtually any man would need to feel confident that her thoughts are just for him to hear and perhaps act upon.
I wonder too if a man with a high moral code may feel that she shouldn't be thinking about anyone else in her fantasy life but him; that not only her actions but her thoughts need to conform to his high moral code. i am just speculating here. I have anything but a man's mind.
AS you of course know, this subject is really rather complicated, we could write a book about it and merely scratch the surface. I shall however attempt to explain my thinking without taking up an inordinate amount of your time.
ReplyDeleteWhen we train a girl it is most important that her thoughts, feelings, desires, needs are expressed honestly and openly. It is really rather vital that this is the case. To a large extent our attitudes towards these gradual revelations are the governing factors in her openness.
It is quite normal to see that as training progresses the girl becomes owner orientated and less generic. At some stage her attention and thoughts will centre very firmly on her owner.
My point is less to do with what might be required of her than the attitudes her revelations might engender. It is of course only my opinion, but I believe that while a less dominant man may, under certain circumstances, feel a sense of consternation, concern or possibly even inadequacy, the dominant male does not.
Anon: Thanks for the illuminating explanation of your thoughts. I can agree with you entirely since this is *exactly* what I have experienced. Apart from a few jokes at my expense on my husband's part a years ago now as to the depravity of some of my fantasies, my thoughts, feelings and desires have been strongly encouraged. I've been given license to express them in depth. In all honesty, I only recall one time when it was said that he felt a need to "correct me there" because my thoughts should have been about my owner and not some faceless stranger that I couldn't identify. The next time I was asked to return to those thoughts I reminded him that I had been censored and I was merely encouraged to tell him everything. I was never censored again.
ReplyDeleteI see now what happened. It was thought, I think, that I should have been further along the track as to my thoughts centering firmly on my owner.
But, fantasies as just that and sometimes I need to think about a man much more severe than my owner could ever be: a 'schoolmaster' sort who takes no prisoners and punishes soundly at the first sight of any infringement of his rules. My mind constantly goes there actually. This headmaster has no particular body or face. He's just authoritarian, rigid, and he brooks no disobedience. It's not a particularly loving situation. At best, he is caring for my welfare in the sense that it is his job to ensure that I am well trained and prepared for my adult life as someone who understands her place and purpose.
In the same way, my fantasies often involve a man who runs a situation where older girls are prepared for their adult life in a much more comprehensive way involving a full understanding of their bodies. These men aren't my owner but merely men who prepare me for life with an owner.
Since my actual life with my owner is a much kinder, gentler and comprehensive life than these dark fantasies, they can't really involve him.
But, don't all girls have fantasies about situations other than they experience in real life?
I really do appreciate your thoughts on the matter. I am guessing that you are an owner yourself, yes?
What a deeply interesting reply.
ReplyDeleteYes, girls fantasise about many things which are outside their experience, and many things which they hope remain so.
You surmise correctly, I am indeed an owner.