Apples fall close to trees

It makes sense, I think, that apples will not fall too far from the trees, and so it is that my boys have a strong tendency to do things their own way, to have a plan even when it appears that they have no plan at all, and to have rather strong notions of how they want a relationship with a girl to play out.

One of the great blessings of my life is the opportunity to be surrounded by beautiful children who have turned out and are turning out very nicely indeed. But, that doesn't mean that they didn't give me some hard times along the way, as you might imagine if you think for more than a few seconds about what a dominant man in the making might be like to bring up.

My eldest son was loving and single-minded from the very beginning and by the time he had turned three he was ready to lead in the nursery school room. I'm pretty quiet living really and I was a little shocked when the nursery school teachers told me this but they assured me he did it well and the other children had no objection.

His senior school years were back here in our homeland and by the end of seventh grade it was clear I had lost my 'boy'. He was ready to party and to meet girls, and school work was a low priority. Still, he had plenty of potential and I did my best to keep him interested and engaged. I'm a little embarrassed to say that some of his English assignments had 'Vesta' all over them. After all, I was the one who read the book, not him, so it stood to reason that he used a few of the ideas I threw his way. (What mothers do...)

In his final two years, it was all about soccer and girls and his mates. By the middle of the final year, I began getting the first calls from the school. My son was not doing much work at all and he had to knuckle down if he wanted to get into the course he had chosen. We had a talk. He told me they were wrong. He had it under control. (Yeah, right!)

So, he completed all his exams at the end of the year with one to go several days later, and he lost the plot. I just couldn't get his bum on the seat to study and finally, and rather unexpectedly, I blew out. I ranted and raved at him and yelled at him, "Why can't you just do it like everybody else!?" He said he had to go away for a few days. He'd be all right. He needed to think."

So, I sat and cried for a while and then to take my mind off this catastrophic event, I went up to his room and changed his sheets and straightened up and I heard his voice say to another child, "Where's Mum?" He was back within the hour because some girl had told him to stop being silly. Thank you, dear girl! He completed his final exam and was off to university the next year.

Three years later I attended his graduation from university and that of his school time friend and later I asked them (tongue in cheek) why neither of them had received the Dean's medal.

"Mum, to win the Dean's medal you actually have to be seen on campus from time to time. I didn't actually go to university!"

Oh yeah. That's right. He did not.

So, the time came to find a job and with a gusto I hadn't seen anywhere else but on the soccer field, he began to apply for internships with companies and secured himself a position with an international firm.

Hunh! He was starting to play the game.

Two years later, he finds himself exactly where he wants to be, travelling the world, doing interesting work with interesting people and with the world at his feet, really.

So, I email him over there in the USA and tell him that I had lunch with the mothers of his friends. And he replies thus:

"Lunch with the girls hey, yes us boys are very wary of those periodic mothers club meetings. Well I’m sure you know a lot more recent ‘goss’ than me after that. You see Mum although I was a little rebellious at school, and I didn’t really go to uni, and I partied a little too often at times etc etc etc… I had a plan and always (well usually) did what needed to be done to get where I needed to go. And… I got the job that most of my mates would die to have, so I hope you gloated a little at your little get together about where you’ve got me and left the other mothers in despair and trailing in your wake! Good work."

And, I laughed my head off! The darling 'little bastard' had it all mapped out and was well ahead of me.

I am extraordinarily proud of him. I can't hold that back. And, I'm proud of him in countless ways, too. He's a little wary of a commitment with a girl right now. He's "done that, been there" and the girl is going to need to have a few tricks up her sleeve (or be prepared to let him lead) to get him down the aisle, but that is all in the future right now.

So, spare a thought for the mothers of dominant men occasionally. I may not have deserved the Dean's medal either, but surely I deserve some kind of medal!!