Like millions of other people, I woke up to some advice from WebMD - "Shrink your plate and lose the weight". Um, I think it might be a bit late now for that gem. Our Christmas dinner plates were humongous - turkey and ham, a variety of vegetables, gravy and cranberry sauce, followed by a home made pudding, with cream and ice-cream. The saving grace was that apart from the odd gent who chewed on a turkey bone later in the evening, we skipped the evening meal. It's breakfast time now and I still have no desire to eat anything.
But, the point made by those wise WebMD people is not lost on me. If you want to lose weight, you have to keep the calorie consumption down whereby you are expending more energy than you are taking calories in, and that is all there really is to that. It requires discipline and commitment and you have to keep giving yourself the right internal messages, motivating yourself to stay on course. The scales don't lie.
I have to admit that I am not an especially disciplined person. I get things done. I accept responsibility, but I rail against it too . Take, for example, this writing course that I am doing. The first subject of the Masters was challenging but well within my comfort zone. I could 'bullshit' my way through it. Whilst there were some rules, I guess, I wasn't especially aware of them in any sort of intense way and being out of the academic scene for decades and having nothing to lose, I did my own thing and discovered that it was entirely satisfactory. I found out a couple of days ago that I even got a Distinction. At first, I wondered if it was a D in the sense of A, B, C or D but then I looked at the number and realized it was a D for Distinction and that pleased me.
Now, I never intended to do Journalism next because I figured that probably was not a subject I could 'bullshit' by way through, but that was all I could do over the summer period according to their timetable and so I enrolled. There was no getting around doing the subject. I had to get through the subject. From minute one, I was concerned. The tutor had put up a great many rules and appeared rigid and even anal-retentive. Fun and laughs between the group on the discussion board were going to be scarce, I could tell.
Along I went, until on week 2 I got back some negative feedback (almost all of us did). I had gone over the word limit and I wasn't to do that again! And, I had not referenced my reading adequately. He needed evidence, he said, that I had done all my reading. Wow!
You would think by now I would be used to a man telling me what to do but in truth, I was affronted. I wrote to Bart. What did he make of it all?? I got back a response telling me that he had had tutors like this before and to do what he said, as he said. There was no other way, said Bart.
But, "the girl" in me just couldn't let it go. I wrote to the tutor and said that I appreciated the feedback but it was a pity he was late with the feedback because the next assignment had been submitted and I didn't have a chance to do anything about it now. He wrote back with more complaints (in other words, that no matter what I said he would have an answer for it) and when I responded to that, he wrote back to say that basically, he was the boss and to do things his way but if I wanted to resubmit, he was giving me "the chance" to do so. Hmmmm. Polite negotiation seemed to work...
So, I did that and thanked him profusely and wished him a 'Merry Chistmas' and I noticed that once I had submitted to his authority and accepted his word as law, the exchanges were a little lighter and brighter and quite possibly, we had forged a better working relationship. He was still going to demand that things be done well and to the letter (as he should) but perhaps there was a better spirit of co-operation on both sides of the ledger.
Being told what to do is something that I like and that I don't like. I do bristle against authority really at the same time as I have enormous respect for it. I do best with structure and with a boss and with expectations. I rise to that.
And so, here I am on Boxing Day early morning watching the sun come up over the lake, sitting at my computer and surrounded by the reading of my next assignment, which I know I must reference in my response. I must do that and so, I shall. Lessons must be learned to advance.
What never ceases to amaze me is that if you are truly blessed, you will come across tutors/bosses/mentors/people in your life who will not only demand that you must do something their way, but they will leave you feeling that you want to do something their way - not just to please them but because their way has become your way. That's gold.
But, the point made by those wise WebMD people is not lost on me. If you want to lose weight, you have to keep the calorie consumption down whereby you are expending more energy than you are taking calories in, and that is all there really is to that. It requires discipline and commitment and you have to keep giving yourself the right internal messages, motivating yourself to stay on course. The scales don't lie.
I have to admit that I am not an especially disciplined person. I get things done. I accept responsibility, but I rail against it too . Take, for example, this writing course that I am doing. The first subject of the Masters was challenging but well within my comfort zone. I could 'bullshit' my way through it. Whilst there were some rules, I guess, I wasn't especially aware of them in any sort of intense way and being out of the academic scene for decades and having nothing to lose, I did my own thing and discovered that it was entirely satisfactory. I found out a couple of days ago that I even got a Distinction. At first, I wondered if it was a D in the sense of A, B, C or D but then I looked at the number and realized it was a D for Distinction and that pleased me.
Now, I never intended to do Journalism next because I figured that probably was not a subject I could 'bullshit' by way through, but that was all I could do over the summer period according to their timetable and so I enrolled. There was no getting around doing the subject. I had to get through the subject. From minute one, I was concerned. The tutor had put up a great many rules and appeared rigid and even anal-retentive. Fun and laughs between the group on the discussion board were going to be scarce, I could tell.
Along I went, until on week 2 I got back some negative feedback (almost all of us did). I had gone over the word limit and I wasn't to do that again! And, I had not referenced my reading adequately. He needed evidence, he said, that I had done all my reading. Wow!
You would think by now I would be used to a man telling me what to do but in truth, I was affronted. I wrote to Bart. What did he make of it all?? I got back a response telling me that he had had tutors like this before and to do what he said, as he said. There was no other way, said Bart.
But, "the girl" in me just couldn't let it go. I wrote to the tutor and said that I appreciated the feedback but it was a pity he was late with the feedback because the next assignment had been submitted and I didn't have a chance to do anything about it now. He wrote back with more complaints (in other words, that no matter what I said he would have an answer for it) and when I responded to that, he wrote back to say that basically, he was the boss and to do things his way but if I wanted to resubmit, he was giving me "the chance" to do so. Hmmmm. Polite negotiation seemed to work...
So, I did that and thanked him profusely and wished him a 'Merry Chistmas' and I noticed that once I had submitted to his authority and accepted his word as law, the exchanges were a little lighter and brighter and quite possibly, we had forged a better working relationship. He was still going to demand that things be done well and to the letter (as he should) but perhaps there was a better spirit of co-operation on both sides of the ledger.
Being told what to do is something that I like and that I don't like. I do bristle against authority really at the same time as I have enormous respect for it. I do best with structure and with a boss and with expectations. I rise to that.
And so, here I am on Boxing Day early morning watching the sun come up over the lake, sitting at my computer and surrounded by the reading of my next assignment, which I know I must reference in my response. I must do that and so, I shall. Lessons must be learned to advance.
What never ceases to amaze me is that if you are truly blessed, you will come across tutors/bosses/mentors/people in your life who will not only demand that you must do something their way, but they will leave you feeling that you want to do something their way - not just to please them but because their way has become your way. That's gold.
Our Christmas plates are these beautiful red glass ones that belonged to my Great Grandmother. They are smaller than typical plates today. I was thinking I really should use a plate that size always.
ReplyDeleteGood luck getting your assignment writen, especially with beautiful scenery competing for your attention. You know that feel of pleasing someone who is down right impossible to please is just wonderful. Please keep us posted on how it goes.
Serenity: Ohhh, that's a good idea! We have small plates here too...some Spanish hand made plates that I picked up in a huge sale. It does help but the fruit cake does not. Oh dear. Temptations abound.
ReplyDeleteThe tutor continues to be tardy. For all his rules, he is ambivalent about when we post and when he gives feedback which makes most of us, I am sure, feel a bit out of control. Last time, we had to post by a specific time on a specific day and it worked beautifully. And, that's the thing. Students of whatever kind do best when the expectations are clear and follow through is regular. Let's just say the jury is still out.
In some ways you remind me so much of my darling wife. She accepts authority and rules as necessary and generally positive much of the time but then has an irresistible urge to rebel. We joke that if there were a button on the wall with a big sign under it warning "Do Not Press" with no other explanation it would eventually drive her nuts and she would press it through sheer rebelliousness, not caring about the consequences. I saw it in her from the very start and it is one of her most adorable traits. She is very spunky, full of character and with her own style. You should see some of her class photographs from school and college - she's looks edgy and defiant and spectacularly different, when all around her dress neatly and smile sweetly. I am very proud that she retains that persona to this day; she's no sheep and is quite able to burst the bubble of any pompous twit who rubs her up the wrong way. Yet she is warm and kind and with the right tutelage and guidance she is incredibly devoted to any task. She responds to being led, in the true sense of leadership; that art of instilling belief and trust in the cause at hand, be it large or small. And she absolutely needs that influence if she is to apply herself effectively. :)
ReplyDeleteOne of the enduring joys in my life is to know that this little firebrand trusts me to lead her and I trust her to follow. Such relationships are golden indeed.
Good luck with your Masters, it's great that you're up for it and education is never wasted. Mine literally changed my life (for the better, I might add).
RollyMo: I tread rather lightly in almost all siuations, I have to say. I detest conflict and I find that in most situations I can manage to get done what I need to get done by being charming. It doesn't always work, of course. There is the odd occasion when I need to push to achieve an end. But, on the whole, I find staying calm and seeking co-operation works best. It is all part of what I am learning is called "self-trust" and when one does trust in oneself, one remains calm and intact no matter what is happening. At least, that's my goal!
ReplyDeleteHi Vesta
ReplyDeleteI was reading this column in the National Post over breakfast yesterday and thought of you. You might find this writer's opinions useful during your Journalism module.
http://www.nationalpost.com/m/story.html?id=5937917
I was particularly taken by his method of keeping the reader hooked until the end of the article; perhaps you are a natural! :)
RollyMo: Very much appreciated. I have bookmarked it. A really good article. Thank you.
ReplyDelete