Insistence

The complexity of some women is that they like things to be steady, calm and ordered at the same time as they need challenge in their lives. They take the time to organize their lives and those in it because they want to feel ‘in control’. At the same time as they want to feel ‘in control’ they need to experience challenge. They want to go out of their comfort zones.

For a partner handling both of these impulses it can be tricky, no? Making love or accepting a command would be good for both of you, but how to keep her mind off all the other things she has racing through her head? How to impact that desire of hers to seek  her own comfort and follow her own impulses; to make her own choices? These are the questions you ask yourself.

Part of her just wants to sink down in the warm comfortable bed and go 'ni ni' but the other part of her would rise to any challenge you offer her too, yes? Well, not necessarily. She is caught between her two needs – that of slumber and that of having her mind (via her body) stimulated.

She says she wants to go to sleep. You say you want her to do as she is told. You banter back and forth. It isn’t so much that she hopes that you stop repeating yourself as that she needs to feel your control, your insistence, a little force.

When she is sure that you will not waver, that you mean for her to obey you no matter how long it takes, she concedes. “Very well,” she says, possibly a little petulantly; maybe in a resigned tone.

Off she goes to fulfil your demand. Quite suddenly, she is not sleepy any more. She feels bright, alert, switched on. She offers these observations to you and you say, “Imagine that”, as if it were a revelation; as if this outcome had never occurred before. She likes to pretend that there is no sarcasm in that remark, even though she knows it is there.

The dynamic between the two of you is restored. When she does fall to sleep, it will be with a lightness of being. She followed instructions. She pleased you and you are proud of her. She glows. You prevailed. Right now, all is well in your world.