If we are each a story waiting to be told, what of the content of the story; the ebb and flow; the conflict, the drama; the end?
Are we ships in the night waiting to see how we will fair at sea, or do we have some control over the outcomes of the journey? Certainly, it is not for us to steer the stars or command the winds.
It is said that some people are "lucky" and some are not so lucky. Some are lucky in love, in luck, with money, in business.
What makes a person satisfied with his life; able to look back on his or her life and feel content that it was lived well?
I wonder how often an individual may ask throughout life: what am I doing? Am I doing my best?
The simple fact of life is this: Things happens and people react and how they react determines what happens next. It may seem like life is random and chaotic but perhaps it is the individual that behaves randomly and chaotically.
I have an unquenchable thirst to explore human behaviour and until now I have largely done that by exploring my own mind. What makes me tick?What makes me happy, satisfied, thrilled, despairing?
The most exciting and awesome discovery of my entire life is that I have the ability to control my responses and reaction to events: to have a say in the outcomes of my own life - not just by using my intelligence and organisational abilities but by strengthening my mind to react in the best possible way.
I can't control my story but I can control how I react to the telling of my story. I'm certainly not perfect at it. I still can be disappointed, sad, regretful; wishful. But, I have taken on board that whilst I can't control any one's behaviour, I can control my own.
I liken it to my learning about writing. I have always had some ideas to play with but I didn't necessarily (and still don't) know all the possibilities of what I could do with those ideas and words. I had an understanding that if only I could turn my mind in another direction I could assist how my life played out, but I didn't necessarily have the tools to enable me to do that.
Until our last day, we never stop learning about ourselves and what it is to be human; to be the best human we can be. This is what gives life a never ending quality: the sheer mystery of living amongst all these people and what they might do next, and why. This is my motivation to write.
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Beautiful post! Do feel you exploration of your submissive side has assisted you in your ability to control your own responses? Or has your other explorations, like yoga and meditation, been more of an influence.
ReplyDeleteSerenity: That is such a good question. I was doing pilates before I looked to practise BDSM. Within the D/s relationship, I go a long way to controlling my own responses. But, it was the addition of yoga and most importantly, meditation that enabled me to see things from a new perspective and certainly aided the control of my responses as well as my ability to handle issues.
ReplyDeleteIn some weird and wonderful way, all the preparation had a higher purpose. As my son expresses his obsessive thoughts I am able to understand him and aid and support him. So, when he says that his mind has an intrusive thought I can encourage him to not judge the thought, to notice the thought and then, to let it go and return to a mindful state. That's meditation but it also has snippets of yoga (when I am in a stance and have to override the discomfort of the thought in my mind to give up) or when I am getting a spanking I am not sure I want and need to overcome that thought and remain mindful ("He can do whatever he wants, and I trust him."). It all, inter relates.