Reflective this morning,
remembering a time when cindi ruled these pages.
"Which is more real?" I was once asked
I ask myself that question right now.
At times, I want to kill her off
like a character in a novel that has to go.
Owner says I'm being silly -
that there is nothing I can do to erase cindi.
She was always there.
She is still here.
She will be here as long as I live because
She is me.
remembering a time when cindi ruled these pages.
"Which is more real?" I was once asked
I ask myself that question right now.
At times, I want to kill her off
like a character in a novel that has to go.
Owner says I'm being silly -
that there is nothing I can do to erase cindi.
She was always there.
She is still here.
She will be here as long as I live because
She is me.
If it means anything I would miss cindi.
ReplyDeleteShe is as much of you as any other part and we are the sum of our parts are we not?
I do understand your reflections though.
xx
~a
She is you. But sometimes we push things down until it is hard to recognize those parts of ourselves anymore. It sounds like Cindi needs some time to rise to the surface and be her sweet bimbo self.
ReplyDeletegoodgirl: Oh, thank you for saying so. I'd like to think that she could have a place on these pages.
ReplyDeleteSerenity: Yes, I agree with you. It is easy to push something down but it is interesting how very little it takes to have that something rise to the surface. If it is there, it is always there waiting for an opportunity.
cindi is the entry point into a completely peaceful state of mind. Objectification has been entirely successful in turning off "the washing machine". My husband refers to my active mind as such and like Sir J with his wife, is happy to engage in whatever it takes to flip the switch.