Resting the mind and body

Yesterday was one of those days that was crammed full of activity. I got my son off the school, whizzed about the house to straighten it up, drove to my mother in another city a little over an hour away, spent five hours with her doing various tasks and conversing, drove home again, put on some washing and sorted the kitchen for dinner, drove to the market to get a few ingredients, cooked the meal, washed up, returned to the laundry and after that, stretched out on my bed with my laptop to do my Discussion post work for my studies until almost midnight. It has been 25 years since I was a student and each time I start a new subject of this Masters I go through a similar sense of feeling disoriented, out of my depth and feeling like it was a mistake to even pretend that  I am capable of this standard. (The feeling goes away a couple of weeks into the subject but while it lasts, it is darn uncomfortable.)

Once I had my shower and got into bed, on a rather hot evening here, my mind instantly went to thoughts that I knew would calm me and soothe me; my relaxation for the day. All vestiges of a functioning woman were gone. I was living with an unknown man. I am not sure of what he meant to me in my life. Perhaps it was a sort of arranged marriage, or perhaps I had been sent there for training, or perhaps we had both been living together and in this way for years and years. I don't dwell on that sort of detail all that often.

There are rituals to my day at that place and it was time for bed. I put on a beautifully patterned green cotton dressing gown (the one I have been admiring in a store here with imports from India, Bali, Bangladesh) and I knocked on the man's door. He called to me to "enter" and I stood inside the door and said, "I am ready for bed, Sir." He said to return to the bedroom and he'd be there shortly; that I could assume the position and wait for him.

I returned to the bedroom (don't know if we shared it or not) and I took off the dressing gown and was now naked. There is a wooden bench in the corner of that room and when you lean over it, the bottom is perfectly positioned for spanking. It is designed so that you place your feet apart on either side of two wooden legs and there is a bar in front that you can grip onto with your hands. The man can tie ankles and wrists should he wish. So, I bend over it and wait.

He comes to me in a few minutes and inspects me. He likes to stretch me and rub me and I like all those lovely soft feelings and try to stay in that moment because I know that what follows is a completely different sensation. Tonight, he takes out a paddle and he continues to paddle away until my bottom reaches the sort of colour he considers suitable; until the sounds that emit from my mouth assure him that I have received enough swats. He has told me on numerous occasions that a daily swatting is what I need and I don't argue about this with him (or about anything actually).

"There's a good girl, he says, because I've stayed very still and I have, with one exception, managed to keep my bottom up high for him to strike.

Without making any sort of a big deal about it, for this does happen every night, he takes a rather large anal plug from the cupboard in the bathroom and returns to me with it, along with lube and wipes and he places the plug inside me. He talks gently to me about how much I need this; about how I will soon feel complete and ready for sleep. When the plug takes over,  and he hears my little grunt he encourages me to squeeze on the plug and welcome it home and I do. I love this moment.

He bids me to stand and he kisses me and rubs me about my shoulders and back; tells me how proud of me he is; what a sweet "child" I am. And then  he escorts me to the bed, tucks me in, pulls the sheets high up to my chin and tells me to go straight to sleep. He gives me a light kiss on the lips and then he turns out the light and closes the door.

For a few moments I lay there in the bed alone; aware of my state; my objective state. My mind is peaceful; serene; empty. My body is filled; a hole is in use and I drift off to sleep in a perfect state of bliss.