Room at the table

We met a wonderfully colorful character in a clothing store yesterday and since I loved his clothes and he wanted to speak English to my husband we were in there for ages. In a nutshell, he told us of his philosophy of life and at times he had me in stitches. A handsome, charismatic and stylish man, he had worked in New York City for many years in fashion photography and publishing and had returned to a more relaxed style of European living here.

He talked of the cultures of the world, of immigration, of "hot blooded" people and "calm, zen type" people and what happens when people of various cultures all live together. He talked of people he had worked with in Europe who had fixed ideas of what was in and what was out. His French associates, for example, had no idea why he should want to travel to Morocco let alone enjoy his time there, whilst he had loved his travels there. He considered them "snobs".

I'm up early. The way of life here means that the garbage truck comes by every morning very early and at that point I take note of the church bell that dings every 15 minutes. My mind wandered to my recent kinky conversation with a friend and the conversation with our acquaintance yesterday, and then the two events gelled together in my mind.

The D/s space is not unlike the cultures of the world. There are so many different ways to live, all under the banner of D/s. Some people feel that their way is the real way; the right way of doing what we do. That's okay. 'Each to his own' has always made a lot of sense to me.

One of my greatest breaks in life is that I found myself mentored by a person who understands me; the essence of me. I wanted to experience life in a "zen" kind of way. I seek calm via control. I crave peace of mind. He heard that through my words and he began work to take me there via a philosophy and state of mind that works brilliantly for me.

It is not for everyone, but it is for me and in my view, no less or more significant, no more or less valuable than any other form of D/s. I'm not playing around and nor is he, although we do acknowlede my playful side. What I have learned is as much part of my real life as it is for those who incorporate D/s into their lives in the most traditional of ways.

I like to think that we can all learn something from one another. More than that, I feel sure that we can learn from one another, if we keep our minds and hearts open to that. I think, at the end of the day, we just need to be true to ourselves and very conscious of what we truly need and what works best for us as individuals. Once you have found what you want, as the saying goes, stick to it.

There is room for us all in this space, surely. Respect for one another, an open mind and clarity of thought as to our own personal needs should allow us to sit at the table and engage with one another in a pleasurable and fulfilling way.