Rigged!

Did I ever tell you that my husband and I are completely opposite in every way? I did? Well then, let me tell you again...

When my husband wakes in the middle of the night, for whatever reason, he reacts to stimuli in the same way as he does as if it were the middle of the day: with gusto. Should he stub his toe (as he did the night before last) he makes enough noise that I can hear it. (Am meant to hear it?!) I, on the other hand, when the occasion has arisen, contain my pain within my own body to ensure that nobody hears it.

Should my husband find a son doing gymnastics in the living room at 4 a.m. (as he did this night), he tells him loudly that it is unacceptable and he needs to go to bed. I, on the other hand, creep through the dark and quietly whisper "Are you nuts?! Go to bed!" and quietly tip toe back to bed in the hope I might get back to sleep.

I know enough tricks by now to keep myself asleep through all sorts of activities within the house, but tonight, after I lay there awake for an hour listening to his restlessness, I said,

"I give up. I'm off to my desk."

A minute later, he arrived.

"I'm sorry I woke you, but..."

"Shhhhhhh"

"Okay, would you like a crumpet?"

"Noooooo, thank you."

He ate his crumpet.

"Okay, I am going back to bed. Enjoy your writing!"

"I'll be sure to."

Love him as I do, the man can be so frustrating!

In the same vein, my daughter mentioned something to me that she had read. When a man sneezes, he makes a great, big noise - the louder the better. People invariably stop and wonder what has happened when a man sneezes. It is so explosive! When a woman sneezes, she turns her head to one side, and, as quietly as she possibly can, she sneezes into her hand, apologizing to no one in particular. You might like to observe this for yourself. It is rather a hoot once you are switched into the different styles.

Once upon a time, when I wore high heels on a surface that made a noise, I would try to walk on tiptoes, to avoid disturbing people. I have seen other women do the same thing. I mentioned this to...well he knows who he is...and he said that had to stop. I needed to make my entrance on those high heels. Rather than not want to make a noise, my goal was to have heads turn. And, I do that now. I thrive on making that noise with my heels.

Sometimes, I really do wonder if I might launch out of my submissive mindset and be a bit more loud. Put my needs first and make a good old hallabaloo about things.

"Feed me!"
"Play with me!"
"Put me first!"

Think that would work for me?

Ugh! This game is rigged!