Frederick and Agnes: Agnes sleeps over

It had been a long day for Agnes. She took her job seriously and wanted very much to impress her new employer. Since she had settled in Paris she had become accustomed to getting off to bed by 11 pm at the latest. When Agnes left the restaurant she felt a little out of control. She could barely keep her eyes open and she felt unsteady on her legs.

She did not want to tell Frederick that she felt a little unwell; that she was not used to drinking much alcohol and that it had an immediate effect on her. She tried to hide her unsteadiness by holding onto his arm. She was not really conscious that she also leaned on his shoulder or even that they were walking much slower than before. She was just doing her best to stay upright and appear that she had it together.

When they reached Frederick’s building, he had her go up the stairs first. She held onto the rail beside the winding staircase and at no point let go. She had grown used to these winding wooden staircases that led one upwards; little steps that were not at all uniform, especially around the corners but she was especially particular about her footing this evening, placing her foot carefully on one step before she moved upwards onto the next.

She had been there once before, of course, but she was grateful when Frederick gave her a direction as to where to go. She just wasn’t thinking straight and felt rather embarrassed when she opened the wrong door. She was aware that he had taken her by the arm rather forcibly to redirect her and she got a sense that he was unimpressed. She gave herself a little shake as if to insist that her mind not fail her. Frederick took her sweater and asked if she would like a hot chocolate.

“That sounds lovely but may I use your bathroom first, Frederick?”

He escorted her to the bathroom and turned on the light and left. She was very grateful to be alone for a few minutes. She sat on the toilet for a time and rested. The thought came to her that she should drink some water. She wiped herself and washed her hands and then she cupped them to make a makeshift glass and drank as much water as she could. She felt a little better. She was grateful to feel more alert.

She noticed that the bathroom led onto a bedroom. She wanted to go in and have a good look around but she also knew that it would be wrong to walk into Frederick’s bedroom without being invited. She put her head around the corner of the door and took it in from where she stood. It seemed an acceptable compromise in her mind.

He was without doubt a very orderly sort of man. It was a man’s bedroom; neutral tones in dark colours and everything was where it should be. The bed had been made; no clothes were in sight. Even the cushions on the upholstered chair in the corner appeared to have been fluffed. Agnes’ eyes moved about the room taking in the stack of books beside his bed, the reading glasses on top of them. She noticed an odd piece of furniture; an unusual shaped chair with a high back on one end but none on the other. Her eye was drawn to it and she found herself returning to look at it several times, trying to determine its purpose.

Agnes suddenly wondered how long she had been away. It would be dreadfully embarrassing to be caught being a ‘nosy parker’ and she moved away quickly and down the hall to find Frederick.

“May I help you?” she asked demurely.

Frederick merely gestured to her to go to the sitting area and she left him and went to take in the view of the city. Paris at night was a city like no other and she enjoyed looking at the little balconies on adjacent buildings. The buildings were so close together that she was able to look out and quite clearly observe people smoking on a balcony directly opposite them and another couple kissing.

She felt she was intruding watching them and she moved away and sat down on a couch and looked for something to glance at while she waited. All the magazines were about design and architecture and when Frederick glanced in on her she asked him about it. It delighted her to discover that he was very passionate about design; that he had many interests. She loved learning these snippets of information about him.

Agnes enjoyed Frederick’s company. She found it easy to talk to him but she was desperately sleepy too and she could feel her eyes start to close on her. She tried hard to force herself to stay awake and alert but it was almost painful to force her eyes to stay open. She tried to make her eyes go very wide as if to will them to stay open but she could feel herself starting to go under and she had no control over the feeling. She decided to just close her eyes for a moment.

When Agnes woke up, she woke in fear. She lay there, conscious of only one fact: that she was not in her own bed. She lay for several seconds trying to remember what had gone on last night and where she actually was. In a moment of relief she recalled that she was in Frederick’s apartment. He must have put the comforter over her, and a pillow under her head. She felt embarrassed that she had fallen asleep but also thought it so sweet of him to tuck her in as he had and make her more comfortable.

This experience was so novel for Agnes she had no rules to follow of what she should do. She barely knew Frederick and yet she felt so comfortable and safe with him. It really did not make any sense, even to her and she could only imagine what her father would say if he knew. And yet, she had a desperate longing to find Frederick and to be closer to him. She got up and walked to the bedroom only to discover that the room was exactly as she had seen it earlier that night. He was not there. The discovery panicked Agnes for a moment. Had he gone and left her there all alone?

But, as she left the room she was aware of a presence in the alcove to the room and she realized it was Frederick who had also gone to sleep in his clothes on the day bed. She felt a great tenderness towards him at that moment and it prompted her to retrieve the comforter with which he had covered her. She lay down beside him and covered them both. He did not awaken and she returned to slumber easily with him by her side.

When she woke in the morning and Frederick conjured the plan of them spending the whole day together she barely resisted and against all previous thoughts of diligence towards her work, quite easily told her employer a little white lie. She wanted so much to be there with him. When Frederick said in jest to tell Andre that she had been "kidnapped" she smiled, but the truth was that she was aroused. The idea of being kidnapped appealed to her more than she dare let on to him. She loved his use of the word “guidance” too. She had no idea why, but she was responding to him in ways that left her speechless; wanting; ready.