Before I was introduced to 'cindi', the primal side of my personality, that part of me that revels in fun, submission, giving up control and slutty thoughts, I used to read the blog of a man who did a very similar thing with and for his wife. When with the family and friends, or out there in the big, wide world she was let's say, Helen, but when she was with him alone she was let's say, pammi. In this way he gave her an outlet to express that part of her personality that needed to remain hidden from the world at large but that was very much there.
In fact, they weren't into spanking or using implements at all. It just wasn't their thing. But, she knew that in her pammi state her role was to submit to his wishes and he gave her a wonderfully sexual time. It wasn't just in the bedroom. They had little rituals such as his calling her to say he was almost home and she would be there at the door to greet him in a certain way. She was always required to speak in a very respectful way with a respectful tone and she asked permission for things, which he readily granted because he wasn't a harsh husband or dominant. He was really into her relaxing and enjoying life; enjoying their time together, expressing her submissive self whilst he expressed his Dominant self. I'm not suggesting that they didn't have difficult times or that he was faultless. I know better than that. But, as a model, it seemed a good one to me.
So, when a friend who became a mentor suggested a similar model for me in the form of 'cindi', it wasn't a stretch for me. It seemed like a good idea and it was a good idea.
Of course, cindi isn't bright. In fact, she's decidedly not smart. She's incredibly happy to take direction because she knows full well that she's not bright and being directed makes her feel much safer. She isn't at all unhappy about her dumdum state, just aware that she needs to be controlled and contained because that's the safe and the smart thing for dolls to be. Dollies need to know that there's someone who can tell them what to do. Sigh. cindi felt better just saying that.
Now, what if the girl couldn't get to the cindi state? What if that avenue of expression were taken away from her? What if Vesta had to submit not via cindi but via her own god given intelligence. What would that look like? Any ideas because I am not visualizing this too well. cindi wonders too when she can come out and play...
In fact, they weren't into spanking or using implements at all. It just wasn't their thing. But, she knew that in her pammi state her role was to submit to his wishes and he gave her a wonderfully sexual time. It wasn't just in the bedroom. They had little rituals such as his calling her to say he was almost home and she would be there at the door to greet him in a certain way. She was always required to speak in a very respectful way with a respectful tone and she asked permission for things, which he readily granted because he wasn't a harsh husband or dominant. He was really into her relaxing and enjoying life; enjoying their time together, expressing her submissive self whilst he expressed his Dominant self. I'm not suggesting that they didn't have difficult times or that he was faultless. I know better than that. But, as a model, it seemed a good one to me.
So, when a friend who became a mentor suggested a similar model for me in the form of 'cindi', it wasn't a stretch for me. It seemed like a good idea and it was a good idea.
Of course, cindi isn't bright. In fact, she's decidedly not smart. She's incredibly happy to take direction because she knows full well that she's not bright and being directed makes her feel much safer. She isn't at all unhappy about her dumdum state, just aware that she needs to be controlled and contained because that's the safe and the smart thing for dolls to be. Dollies need to know that there's someone who can tell them what to do. Sigh. cindi felt better just saying that.
Now, what if the girl couldn't get to the cindi state? What if that avenue of expression were taken away from her? What if Vesta had to submit not via cindi but via her own god given intelligence. What would that look like? Any ideas because I am not visualizing this too well. cindi wonders too when she can come out and play...
Vesta,
ReplyDelete"What would it look like?" Heavens. Only you will know once you experience it; revel in it; breathe it into your lungs and express it through your words.
Regardless of how that portrait will be painted, it will be a unique experience, one I hope you embrace whole heartedly. Should of course, that be what you desire.
xx
~a
goodgirl: I received that advice one other time as I recall; not to bother wondering what something would be like - to wait and experience it. Once I had experienced it, I understood that the experience couldn't be explained, just lived. So, I think that's good advice.
ReplyDeleteI read recently (thought I am not sure it is true) that the only times when our heads aren't full of thoughts is when we orgasm. In the dolly state there is precious little thought going on. It's a sort of long orgasm really; a precious 'other world' sort of state at its very best. I haven't experienced anything quite like it in any other way except on those occasions when my husband and I were in the throes of love making and felt completely and utterly entwined body and soul. I certainly don't want to miss anything. I'm open to learning but as yet I can't imagine it or see it at all.