I was immediately attracted to this photograph. I grew up on these sort of images. As a young girl, my best friend and I would study the latest Vogue and see page after page of photographs of serene looking and beautifully dressed and coiffed women. It helped that my best friend's mother had a hair salon and we often went there to get the latest hair do. A few years later found us at a 'deportment school' and somewhere or other I still have the little prize I was given there for coming 'Top of the Class', I think it was.
So, you see, right from the get go I was really made for the dolly state of mind. I love to be 'at one' with my home. I love to arrange the flowers, to make a meal from scratch, to have a dinner party, to be alone at home; me and my house. Sometimes my husband will come home at the end of the day and say, "Look at you, all dressed up and nowhere to go!" because I often do change into something nice in the middle of the day - get all 'dolled' up. I think that harks back to the fact that my mother often changed her clothes for evening and I must have taken note of that and stored it away.
Of course, the other side to dolls is that men like to mess them up. The more time and effort the girl has gone to to make herself attractive, the more 'together' she looks, the more he enjoys defiling the well presented, domestic goddess. There are two sides to every story and certainly two faces to many women. But, it's pleasing (and a tease) to present oneself immaculately, I think, and have them wondering if there's another side.
With regard to the male attitude to a well turned out woman, I think there are two strands of attraction. One is simple: the better she is turned out, the more beautiful, and the more beautiful, the more desirable. This means he is more likely to want to put his "dirty paws" on her and generally let his demons out to play when she is looking at her best.
ReplyDeleteSecond is the effect of the "dirty little secret". Knowing that his girl in all her dolled up and painted splendor, outwardly so immaculate and demure, is also his kinky little plaything - wow what a turn-on. Reveling in the knowledge when out in polite company that her perfectly painted mouth will later be eagerly sucking his shaft, or that those delightfully cupped and covered breasts carry nipples that crave to be clamped, heightens the motivation to reach inside and pull that darkness to the surface. We all want our girls to have that aspect to their nature, so long as it is reserved for our exclusive enjoyment.
I love this. I took a "charm" class when I was a teenager. How fun. The idea of dressing for the man you love, especially when you aren't even going out, is a wonderful one. I could see where it would be powerful for a man to have a woman who is a lady in public and behaves quite differently when it's just the two of them alone. Wonderful post and the photo is perfect.
ReplyDeleteSusan
rollymo: It's interesting to read a man's description of this. Feeling proud that this well turned out woman belongs to you seems to be a thought in the minds of many men. It's different, I think (and I hope) from the 'trophy wife' sort of mentality whereby they've married a woman for her looks mostly.
ReplyDeleteThe attraction of a well dressed woman is so subjective. I might go to considerable effort with an outfit and my husband won't necessarily make note but at other times he's particularly switched on to an outfit and it pays to note what pushes a man's buttons. My husband loves boots and he loves the longer and rather detailed skirts I sometimes wear. I've been wearing that style since I met him and it always turns him on. In summer he likes a bit of a frilly white Laura Ashely type of shirt. I've been wearing those since I met him too.
I'm rather blind to a man noticing me most of the time but my husband will note it and tell me and that's when I have made an effort with my dress, so I suspect it is at those moments when he is aware that I *belong* to him that I think he enjoys that men are appreciating his *property*.
Susan: I remember once saying to my mentor when he was buying something for his girl that she couldn't wear out in public that it seemed a waste of money. Of course, I was wrong and those garments bought just for your man's pleasure are worth every cent. I think the trick is for a woman to enjoy them every bit as much as the man; to enjoy the enticement process. So many young women seem to know this instinctively but if you've been brought up in a certain way it can take coaxing to be comfortable with the idea. It took some coaxing for me anyway.