I think I have wanted a power exchange relationship my whole adult life. I'm excited by the oddest things - some sort of statement that something is not my decision, a commitment that something is done as told; an 'in your face' declaration that a task is given for "discipline" and to enforce control.
I accept such statements in a two-forked way. First, there is the intellectual sense where the words are challenging to me. Somewhere in the mix, that response is there within my mind. What usurps my responding to that feeling with some sort of expressed rebellion is the fact that these sort of arrogant statements of fact really turn me on. I get off on arrogance. I get off on the reminder that it is my role to do someone else's bidding; that my role is to please and satisfy.
When confronted with a task, day by day, day after day, 99 times out of 100 I do it uncomplainingly because I know I must 'face the music'. If I don't face the music and do it, then ultimately I face the music in another way, because there is no defense for non compliance. Do it. Don't do it. The music must be faced either way. I'm "evaluated". Could there be a more challenging (arousing?) declaration than that?
Still, the intellectual side of my brain, or some might say the willful side of my brain, insists every now and then on trying it on; complaining. I imagine this is to be expected. I imagine it to be not at all difficult as to how to respond. Only one person can be in control.
It's a test of the dominant's will and strength of resolve, but not one that I plan. I don't look for trouble, but trouble sometimes looks for me. My intellectual brain sometimes interferes with my pleasure.
Discipline prevails, as it should. For reasons I may never fully understand the disciplined life works for me supremely well.
I accept such statements in a two-forked way. First, there is the intellectual sense where the words are challenging to me. Somewhere in the mix, that response is there within my mind. What usurps my responding to that feeling with some sort of expressed rebellion is the fact that these sort of arrogant statements of fact really turn me on. I get off on arrogance. I get off on the reminder that it is my role to do someone else's bidding; that my role is to please and satisfy.
When confronted with a task, day by day, day after day, 99 times out of 100 I do it uncomplainingly because I know I must 'face the music'. If I don't face the music and do it, then ultimately I face the music in another way, because there is no defense for non compliance. Do it. Don't do it. The music must be faced either way. I'm "evaluated". Could there be a more challenging (arousing?) declaration than that?
Still, the intellectual side of my brain, or some might say the willful side of my brain, insists every now and then on trying it on; complaining. I imagine this is to be expected. I imagine it to be not at all difficult as to how to respond. Only one person can be in control.
It's a test of the dominant's will and strength of resolve, but not one that I plan. I don't look for trouble, but trouble sometimes looks for me. My intellectual brain sometimes interferes with my pleasure.
Discipline prevails, as it should. For reasons I may never fully understand the disciplined life works for me supremely well.
this sounds like the ideal way of life, if only it was that easy. we all know how we want to live but its getting the partner to be the dominant we need
ReplyDeleteGreat post! As always!
ReplyDeleteI will say the same thing as Misty did...
ReplyDeleteGreat post! As always!
kiwigirliegirl: The very word 'discipline' conjures up different things for different people. It's a word that arouses me in many ways. You can't get very far in life without some discipline - the discipline to keep practicing a craft such as writing or drawing, the discipline to ensure you get adequate sleep or nutrition, the discipline to behave in a way that yields results. In a way, a dominant is a disciplinarian, has been offered that position, because some people desire that in their lives. The idea of a dominant in my life is ultra appealing yet I do have an independent streak and I'm not sure that I would do at all well if I was spanked routinely for a variety of misdemeanors. These relationships really do have to be tailor made for the people involved. Having said all that, I really do feel that the one thing that a D/s relationship needs is that the dominant member of the relationship expresses conviction of one sort or another. I do realize your frustration so let me offer this: We were out Christmas shopping together and we stopped for a cup of coffee. "What would you like?" he asked me. I know that he doesn't really approve of me drinking soy milk but I get tired of black coffee (I can't bring cow's milk). I looked up at him and in my sweetest, most submissive way said, "May I please have a soy flat white?" I could see him smiling with pleasure. "Yes, you may," he responded. He mentioned the next day how much he had loved those moments. So, maybe think about how you might provoke a dominant response. He may have to be aroused first before he can doing something more intense.
ReplyDeleteMisty and David F: Thank you. It is always lovely to know a reader enjoyed the writing.