I want something and I want it right now. I want to be asked a series of questions; badgered with a set of queries that lead me down a drainpipe with no way to ascend.
I want to be interrogated until I let something slip - some small detail that I had never intended to disclose, yet now have no choice but to reveal.
I want to feel the uncertainty and consternation of not knowing what he will say next.
I want the thrill of fear.
I want to experience the exhilaration of knowing that the next step is not mine.
I want to feel the control of the other and to be aware that I have no control at all.
I want to be reminded that I have no will of my own and that my only "choice" is to accept that I have no choice.
I want to dig deep into that dolli state of mind.
Fiendish folly; fearsome fright; fully fortified.
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I think fear play could be very hot and exciting. If there is trust, you could go very far in causing a great scenario based on fear. I hope you get to try it out. I look forward to reading about it of you get what you want.
ReplyDeleteWilliam
William: It is a two edged sword: fear. I can find fear the most intoxicating of states, and yet I fear the fear. After the state of fear passes, then comes the sense of experiencing the other's displeasure and the consequences of that. But, there have been moments when fear has simply heightened the game and I've ridden the fear with some innate knowledge that it is just increasing the pleasure for both of us, and that's been funtastic!
ReplyDeleteHaving said all that, I admit to a certain perversity: Even when I have *hated* the consequences of my actions and feel wretched about that, if the element of fear is still somehow present, what was meant to be 'punishment' can have a strong element of 'arousal' in the mix. Now, I am telling tales out of school here. I just hope my relevation doesn't 'bite me in the bum'.
Vesta: I often hover on that deep desire to experience fear. With casual play partners...my "healthy" fear has made that sort of elusive. But now that I have an owner that I can trust...I'm hopeing that "fear-play" "fear-sensation" is something on the horizon. I know exactly what you are talking about :-)
ReplyDeleteHawk: It is nice to be understood. I don't always feel that I am. One dominant friend felt he had to check in with me as to whether I meant being deliberately naughty to get punished which as we all know,is not considered a good thing to do. Whilst that was not a foreign idea to me once upon a time, I didn't mean that all.
ReplyDeleteWhen you feel some healthy fear, you are engaged on a more intense level and it is the intense engagement itself that I wait for, hunger for and grab with both hands every chance I get.