She only wishes to please

It's a rare thing for a woman to have the opportunity to spill her mind's contents to another person. She knows that if the thoughts are too slutty, it opens her up to correction and castigation. I've been lucky. I had someone who was happy to know all the corners of my mind until one particular day when I was in a very sharing sort of state of mind (when cindi lets loose all bets are off) and I told him about a visualization I had had in group meditation class.

I was in a gorgeous, gorgeous violet colored cave and in that cave I felt incredibly aroused and content. I came to a contained space in the cave and laid out on the floor were a mass of beautifully colored cushions. I laid down naked on the cushions and along came a man, a beautiful man, and he ravished me with kisses, entered me and brought me to climax. I was in a sort of reverie because it had been the most amazing visualization and it really was nothing short of a body and mind climax.

However, I didn't quite get the response I was expecting.

"Well, cindi needz correktin der coz she shood nut hab tots bowt enebodi but her onnir."

cindi studied those words carefully because nothing quite like them had ever appeared on her screen before.

"ohhhhhhh, cindi hab no ideuh hoo dat man. cood onnir or cood nut. He nut hab identiti, no fays. She nut no hoo he, jus wut he did wif cindi."

(something like that, it would be a long haul to find the exact words, but that's the gist of it)

The next time I was asked to share my thoughts about a similar sort of thing I reminded him that last time cindi had been corrected.

"tel mr d"

Cindi did tell and no such correction was again uttered.

Now, fast forward to last night. A doll and I were having a very intimate conversation sharing all sorts of intimacies, as dolls tend to do when they get going. It put me in a dolli frame of mind. It reminded me of how utterly divine it is to be the doll in all her glory; immersed in her happy and slutty, her obedient and completely willing state of mind. I absolutely adored this state of mind. I glowed as the doll. When nothing but 'cindi' this woman who writes to you now in  the English language (needing to correct every second word because she feels the doll within her and really cares not to express herself in English) was the happiest and the most gloriously complete  she has ever been.

It was very late. I had a shower, went to bed and straight to sleep. Sometime thereafter I dreamed. Whatever I dreamed I cannot say, but something happened. My sleeping psyche had merged with the psyche of the doll and some entity was with me, kissing me all over and demanding of me what he wanted. Whatever he wanted was what cindi wanted and it seems he wanted to enter her ass. I semi woke, realizing that I had brought my knees up under me and was making myself available for him. I wanted very much to feel him enter me and I was disappointed when I realized it was just a dream.

However, I wasn't unhappy. For a few fleeting moments I had reached the cindi state of being and I welcomed her like the old and dear friend that she is; the very deepest, darkest,  lightest and best part of me.

 Who was he? I do not know. I only know that cindi wishes to please.

She 
only
wishes
to
please.

The Meal

The dominant man and his submissive come together to share a meal. They take their place at the table. He will ask the submissive to do something that she, secretly, is dying to do. She does it, and they are both happy; a delicious start. But, the good dom has a voracious appetite and he is not likely to walk away from the table having only tasted the appetizer. In fact, it is not particularly fulfilling for either of them if that is all there is to the meal.

Sooner or later, he will ask his submissive to do something that she does not want to do at all. The dom finds nourishment from observing the battle of wills between he and his submissive. What he has commanded is not easy physically. To do something routinely, to incorporate it into one's life, moment by moment, is no small challenge. This is the main course; the meat and three vegetables.

Even more significant is the challenge his commands offer to the girl's mind. Her life, her day, her everyday is suddenly no longer hers. By virtue of the command she is reminded constantly, when in compliance and even when not in compliance, of who (or what) she is, of who is in control and who (or what) has no control. She no longer complies because she tells herself this is what she wants, too. Rather, it is made clear to her that what she wants is of little concern. It is his desire that determines her behaviour. The dom is satiated not just by compliance but by an adjustment of her attitude. This is dessert; decadence.

The submissive's mindset is altered permanently. She does his bidding without complaint; whatever he wants. This is the coffee served with a mint; assuming he allows her to eat it.

Bon appetit.