I used to read the entries of dominants who talked about denying permission for their girl to cum with a certain awe and wonder. 'Dom with Pen' on tumblr (now under another name I believe) is one example of a dominant who insisted that his girl ask for permission to cum each and every time they had sex. Whether his girl needed permission to touch herself, or if she even wanted to, I can't remember.
Right from the beginnings of my BDSM explorations orgasm denial was a concept I had trouble grasping for myself. I'd been masturbating since I was a very little girl and being denied this 'right' seemed simply impossible to me. My 'training' over the past few years didn't venture over this domain either. To the contrary there was plenty of encouragement that I masturbate and climax whenever it suited me. It was part and parcel of the sluttiness that aided the transformation and it was therefore encouraged, and later, required.
It's a deliciously counter-intuitive game, to my mind anyway, to be told that one must touch oneself so many times a day. Even when busy, there is a part of the brain that never really switches off from being aroused and it reminds the girl of her purpose of course. It is a deliciously devilish game to alter these rules too and take her transformation to the next step. The girl must masturbate consistently and regularly but not cum. Indeed, edging is the modus operandi, to bring oneself to the edge of climax but never spilling over to climax.
Oddly, given my difficulties with being told not to touch for extended periods of time, my mind took to these variations of orgasm control like a duck to water. Whilst I'd had a great deal of trouble with the concept of not touching at all, touching regularly without climaxing, was something that I could do just fine.
Mind you, 'drinks' were few and far between, but I quickly got the hang of the concept that to ask or to be petulant about my frustrations and desires didn't lead to success. I learned to just hang in and bide my time - to wait.
Honesty demands that I explain that if the decision to comply was left to just my mind, problems could have ensued. To edge and not cum, sometimes for weeks, would probably have been more than I could manage without slip ups. What amazed me was that my body was in complete alignment with the rules laid out. It was happy for me to touch, to edge to my heart's content, but cum without permission it out rightly refused to do. To touch regularly was a 'no brainer' really because my need was driving me routinely back to that preoccupation but, without permission to release, I was left hungry and anxious to do it all over again very soon later. I was like a dog chasing it's tail and going nowhere, but refusing to give up.
There was another challenge that I'd been given some time ago as well that had been put on the back burner for some time and very occasionally brought up. It's a serious and not at all easy challenge, but critical to ultimately determined outcomes.To my mind one of the most essential factors of an effective Dominant is that he can be unpredictable, and unpredictably these two challenges converged. Mention of the first task kept the expectation firmly in my mind without any immediate anticipation for achievement. When the matter would come up I would never know, but occasional reference to it reminded me that the challenge wasn't forgotten; would never be forgotten.
As I've explained, the command to cum - say, tomorrow - is poignant for me. It's my mind and my body that registers this as a rare one-time opportunity for release of my needy state. It's not an opportunity I like to waste. But now, that release, so awaited, was intimately intertwined with doing so whilst undertaking the first challenge.
I suspect that the knowledge of this situation, the 24 hour warning, was the factor that led me to obsess about what was to occur, such that when I found myself with some private time the next day I bolted to undertake the preparations. Whereas in the past there has been some resistance to complete the task this time I couldn't wait to begin. Hmm.
On some level I was conscious of the change in my affections towards this task, noticing myself as I careered into action. Somewhere deep in my mind some last remnant of 'girl' noted that she had been mind fucked to feel deep affection and excitement for a task for which she had previously performed with lacklustre. But, 'bimbo' just didn't care. She was having too much fun, getting her thrills whilst they were going, not at all concerned that she had been beguiled into feeling a deep affection for the object she was working with, wanting to get up close and personal, ever and ever more deeply close.
When a girl reaches this sort of orgasmic state, one orgasm is never going to be enough. Twenty four hours later, the body craves and demands more. Again, if left to the brain, the brain would win, but as per usual these days the body said 'I'm sorry but you don't have permission.' Just as well.
Right from the beginnings of my BDSM explorations orgasm denial was a concept I had trouble grasping for myself. I'd been masturbating since I was a very little girl and being denied this 'right' seemed simply impossible to me. My 'training' over the past few years didn't venture over this domain either. To the contrary there was plenty of encouragement that I masturbate and climax whenever it suited me. It was part and parcel of the sluttiness that aided the transformation and it was therefore encouraged, and later, required.
It's a deliciously counter-intuitive game, to my mind anyway, to be told that one must touch oneself so many times a day. Even when busy, there is a part of the brain that never really switches off from being aroused and it reminds the girl of her purpose of course. It is a deliciously devilish game to alter these rules too and take her transformation to the next step. The girl must masturbate consistently and regularly but not cum. Indeed, edging is the modus operandi, to bring oneself to the edge of climax but never spilling over to climax.
Oddly, given my difficulties with being told not to touch for extended periods of time, my mind took to these variations of orgasm control like a duck to water. Whilst I'd had a great deal of trouble with the concept of not touching at all, touching regularly without climaxing, was something that I could do just fine.
Mind you, 'drinks' were few and far between, but I quickly got the hang of the concept that to ask or to be petulant about my frustrations and desires didn't lead to success. I learned to just hang in and bide my time - to wait.
Honesty demands that I explain that if the decision to comply was left to just my mind, problems could have ensued. To edge and not cum, sometimes for weeks, would probably have been more than I could manage without slip ups. What amazed me was that my body was in complete alignment with the rules laid out. It was happy for me to touch, to edge to my heart's content, but cum without permission it out rightly refused to do. To touch regularly was a 'no brainer' really because my need was driving me routinely back to that preoccupation but, without permission to release, I was left hungry and anxious to do it all over again very soon later. I was like a dog chasing it's tail and going nowhere, but refusing to give up.
There was another challenge that I'd been given some time ago as well that had been put on the back burner for some time and very occasionally brought up. It's a serious and not at all easy challenge, but critical to ultimately determined outcomes.To my mind one of the most essential factors of an effective Dominant is that he can be unpredictable, and unpredictably these two challenges converged. Mention of the first task kept the expectation firmly in my mind without any immediate anticipation for achievement. When the matter would come up I would never know, but occasional reference to it reminded me that the challenge wasn't forgotten; would never be forgotten.
As I've explained, the command to cum - say, tomorrow - is poignant for me. It's my mind and my body that registers this as a rare one-time opportunity for release of my needy state. It's not an opportunity I like to waste. But now, that release, so awaited, was intimately intertwined with doing so whilst undertaking the first challenge.
I suspect that the knowledge of this situation, the 24 hour warning, was the factor that led me to obsess about what was to occur, such that when I found myself with some private time the next day I bolted to undertake the preparations. Whereas in the past there has been some resistance to complete the task this time I couldn't wait to begin. Hmm.
On some level I was conscious of the change in my affections towards this task, noticing myself as I careered into action. Somewhere deep in my mind some last remnant of 'girl' noted that she had been mind fucked to feel deep affection and excitement for a task for which she had previously performed with lacklustre. But, 'bimbo' just didn't care. She was having too much fun, getting her thrills whilst they were going, not at all concerned that she had been beguiled into feeling a deep affection for the object she was working with, wanting to get up close and personal, ever and ever more deeply close.
When a girl reaches this sort of orgasmic state, one orgasm is never going to be enough. Twenty four hours later, the body craves and demands more. Again, if left to the brain, the brain would win, but as per usual these days the body said 'I'm sorry but you don't have permission.' Just as well.
No comments:
Post a Comment