Saturday, May 17, 2014

Fantasy versus reality

I'm sent emails on topics related to kinky literature newly published and to be honest I am rarely interested in it. It's a very rare day when I find a story exactly to my tastes. However, the blurb about this book suggested it had promise, being incredibly dark and dire. I linked over to Amazon and read the free preview first chapter. Oh yes, it was entirely to my tastes -  18 year old girls sent off to an 'institution' to be reformed in their behavior and prepared for a suitable marriage to a very strict man.

I didn't have much time to read it. Initially I was skimming the material. However, I  found myself tracking back over some paragraphs because I'd become engaged in the story almost immediately. In the end, I slowed down and thrilled to read of Masters and Mistresses so strict from the outset that there was absolutely no doubt in the girls' minds that it was best to obey all instructions instantly. For example, it took no more than one hard, sometimes two, hard beatings with a wooden paddle for them to learn to respond to a Master at all times by addressing him as "Sir". That paddle, with the word 'OBEDIENCE' painted onto it, had reformed their mindset in no more than two minutes.

Now, in real life, I'd be devastated: devastated for them and devastated for myself, should I ever find myself in that dastardly, despairing situation. There was no way out for these girls. They were going to be going through real ordeals; a nightmare. Affection or care, let alone love, didn't seem remotely possible there. However, in storyland it 'wetted' my appetites. I've been lost ever since in that story, in my mind, and when I need a little pick-me-up for a few seconds here or there, going about my day, I think about it.

Well, more than that, I masturbated to similar images this morning, noticing that the literature had had its effects on my body's arousal, but I added on. In my mind's images, the girls' training had progressed that they knew that when told to get on their knees and the Master approached them they instantly opened their mouths wide; instantly knew their purpose was to provide that opening for his pleasure.

Like any woman, I have my sensibilities and limits. I deplore rudeness. That's why, fundamentally, the scene is a fantasy for me, because in real life, my expectations are that I will be respected. That's not to say that I wouldn't be prepared to enact that scene myself but rather that as I go about my day and my life there is an expectation that my feelings will be taken into account; that any conversations I have will have a give and take aspect to them and that a man won't leave the conversation without a proper end to it. In other words, I expect, like all women should expect, that I'll be treated well.

Yes, we women who thrive in disciplinary settings/arrangements like to leave all the niceties of modern life behind. There are not too many please and thank yous in these disciplinary scenes and conversations and nor is the girls' feelings necessarily taken into account. The man is going to take liberties and she's going to feel vulnerable; put out; angry. I get all that. But it has to be counterpointed with a different kind of dynamic and interaction at other times. That's my point. Maybe I do get off by being barked at; told to do;  disciplined and punished. What's the point of denying it? I just do.

Yet, without some tenderness, some smiles, some laughs, and a little romance, where would a girl be? I'll tell you where she'd be. She'd be at that horrible reform school 24 hours a day and there's no girl in the whole wide world that would want that.

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